Signs of my times-Fluff heads

I have always enjoyed my own company, and I believe the ability to be happy alone has a lot to do with how I grew up. I was the oldest, the only girl, and we moved a great deal in my growing years. Maybe not as much as some military brats might have, but it was an average of every two years from the time I was about 8.

I got used to making friends, and yes, as a preteen and teenager there were rocky years and some tears leaving those friends behind. A few I stayed in contact with for a while, pen pals and summer time visits. But generally speaking I got used to starting over, and lost the fear of time spent alone. At 13, of course, it was all angst, "woe is me" and sad poetry. But by the time I was 16 and we made our last move to California I was a great deal stronger than an average 16 year old would be entering her senior year at High School. I was an independent thinker and I liked that about myself.

Did I need someone making me feel bad for working to earn money for college? Umm, no. So when friends (said with a raised eyebrow) made remarks about me never being able to drop everything and go with them it was pretty much " Sorry, I'm working." And inside I was thinking "what friend makes you feel bad for something you have to do?" Yeah, I analyzed how I was treated.

It's not to say that I did not make my fair share of mistakes, but the friendships that did blossom lasted a long time, some are still with me. The thing was I was not dependent on someone else to make my day. (relationships..that's a whole other can of icky worms and Not included in this subject.) So many people I meet these days are constantly connected to someone else. I wonder if they know how to disconnect? How can they get through a day without telling somebody something trivial, sharing every emotion and living like lemmings/leaches dependent on others?

I feel like yelling sometimes.."Disconnect and find yourself!!" "You are melting into the mass hypnosis glop of too much technology!" "Read a DAMN book and learn something important!" Fluff filled heads. There is nothing fascinating about who did what, who they talked to, what they wore, what celebrity wore a bad bathing suit to the beach, and who has cellulite. It sickens me that a large part of kids these days think that stuff is news.

It's getting harder to find real news online when much is celebrity bullshit, tid bits on who is buying or wearing what, etc. When I find an article on an underwater discovery or some other science fact I latch on like it was gold. Even what they are passing as news is really just another way to make your feel that you want something, or need to have it...or YOU are missing out.

Because we have accepted the fluff without protest it has taken over our lives. The Media feeds us the  political agenda of whichever corporation controls that channel. Very few ever delve into finding the real truth and are satisfied with someone else's false take on the news. Anything that is truly newsworthy but fails to fit the agenda is Not covered.

So to those who are just starting out in their adult lives..please take time off everyday to THINK. Turn off the fluff and ask questions. Read a book. Venture into a subject that has worth and learn more.
We are becoming a mass of technology controlled sheep. If anyone does question with facts lined up they are dissed as a conspiracy theorist or just a nut.. Not everyone who searches for the truth is crazy.

If you find yourself after unplugging and thinking, your will appreciate real friendships and good conversation, and real issues a great deal more than f-l-u-f-f. A whole new you, independent of the plug . Someone who might have something truly important to share with the world.

G'nite, K

A new world

Trees as far as the eyes can see.  A night sky not yet obscured  by city lights; stars that you feel that you can reach out and touch.  Water flowing in streams and falls; lakes yet unpolluted by industrialization.  Wild life abundant and untouched. These were the Americas that the age of modern man had not touched.

What would it feel like to be in a world not yet changed because of man? To soak in the beauty and breathe in the wonder? To take the first steps into a virgin forest, and be a part of that land?  Joy. Pure and simple joy. To feel part of what God made, and live a life that did not change what was already there.

The excitement of discovery. To walk where no man had walked before. To stay and be a part of that dream. The smell of clean earth, the taste of fresh herbs, the glory of being new.

200 years. Just 2oo years that  wiped away the fresh newness. That welcomed industrialization, that polluted what was new and untouched. The people native to this land respected the gift that was given. The people that conquered and dominated had no respect, just forward moving to what they considered progress.

How many, I wonder, wish they could turn back the years and see that virgin forest? Could see a sky not polluted by automobiles and industry? Could learn to live in peace with nature and rejoice in the beauty that surrounds them?

If Icould turn back time, it would be to that place. Not to a person, not to a moment, but to then...the beginning. And strive with all my heart to leave it untouched.

k

The Waiting Game

Normally I am a fairly patient person.(in most respects)  But I must admit that the waiting this time for answers is manifesting as stress, and stress, ( lovely silent migraine maker) likes to play games with your mind and your body. This I know from ignoring stress levels at other times in my life. One year belly, next year headaches, then heart palpitations, etc. This year it has decided to give be jaw aches, which is funny because if you know me you know I cannot grind my teeth.

I thought it might be a bad tooth but the soreness is further back on my jaw line and it is also sore to the touch. So I of course mulled it over in my head for a few days until I realized that it was once again stress.
Really, I have to find an outlet since I seem to be predisposed to stress materializing in it's various forms.

The cause of all this bullshit? Waiting for State Farm to make a decision regarding to pay or not pay for my most recent money sucking medical bills. The injury became obvious after the accident and my quick trip to the ER last August. It did not jump out and say "Ow!" the night the accident occurred, but instead over the months following it grew to be noticeable. Namely compressed nerves in my neck, but also disc bulging in my back. The MRI showed normal aging signs as well, and I do not expect them to pay for that. However the compressed nerves in my neck? Yes because they won't ever go away according to my neurologist. He freaked me out saying that forced movement of my cervical spine or surgery could actually cause paralysis.
So yeah..I'm playing the waiting game.

It's a damn good thing I don't bite my nails because I would have none left. I just want an answer.

Not grinding my teeth...grrr..
K  

9-23-2013
PS: The jaw ache was the harbinger of the flu. It knocked me out for almost a week. Still rubbish from State Farm. One claim (mine) stating they are waiting for the doctor's note that clearly states the compressed nerves and bulging discs are from the accident, The other (claimant) sharing that they will only pay the medical bills. I see an attorney tomorrow.