How do I fix this?

 Not sure if anyone out there has had something like this happen to you, but here goes.. Have you ever had a friend whose actions towards you bordered on being not friendly? I know this sounds strange coming from someone my age. Shouldn't I know what friendship is? 

Problem is, that for some reason, I've had several friends like that in my life. Being laughed at and not with, because it made other people laugh, but you're not laughing. Yes you spent time together without that. But it was always me as the butt of the joke, not them. Like I had to be good natured to remain  friends.

My dilemma today is not about laughter. It's about someone who is paid to help me, but we have a sort of friendship. I think that she's coming to resent performing the chores she was assigned. I have fractured discs in my back which makes chores painful, though I do what I can, and feel bad about asking her for help. I did not grow up in a wealthy family who hired help. I like that we share enough in common that we can talk about life together, but maybe my desire for a friend has messed this up.

I'm going to have to talk to her about it because it was clearly something she was angry about last week. I don't have many friends these days since I'm not working anymore and my besties are 3000 miles away. This is going to be hard. Maybe I'm mistaking a client/service relationship for a real friendship.

Frost Bit

 💨💨😗🌨

There have only been a few times in my life when Mother Nature became a frigid bitch, and right now is one of them. For weeks this January we haven't broken out of the teens in temperature and night in the single digits or below zero. I am very aware that other people are experiencing worse than I am. I share sympathy for those folks. But I can still bitch about my current situation. My feet don't get warm unless I'm wearing wool socks and under the bed covers for at least 30 minutes.

I can feel the cold air doing it's very best to infiltrate through the front windows and door. There's nothing I can do to stop it. Heat? So flipping expensive right now, and baseboard electric is only on one wall in the living room and the bedroom. It struggles to heat anything beyond 3 feet in front of the heater.

I've been wearing layers since December. I'm a firm lover of the seasons, but this year I'm rooting for spring. Less clothes and lower electric bills. Not having my cabinets open and faucets dripping to prevent busted water pipes. Or just a regular winter where the temperature fluxuates. This polar vortex came for a visit and doesn't want to go home. I'm revoking it's Visa. Go back to the Artic!! I'm tired of hosting a bitch who raises my bills and leaves me frozen.

Wishing for a fireplace or a warm island.

Kel

Tis the Season

 For snow. Winter has decided that this is the week for us to wake up!! You know, as a kid I loved it, even if it meant wearing bread bags held on with a rubber band inside my boots. No fancy water proofing in those days, we generally were frozen and wet after playing outside in the snow. Snow forts and ferocious snow ball battles. It was fun then.

Now? It's a pain in my 60 something year old ass. If I lived in my own home I'd periodically use a broom to sweep the steps. A week or two ago we had maybe 1 inch fall for our first snow. Building maintenance did absolutely jack shit to clear the 15 steps it takes to get up to my apartment. They lightly scattered snow melt and left it. Treacherous? Yes, and I normally am slow going down those stairs. Here's hoping that my bitching about it makes a difference.

Now a days I plan around the snow since I'm basically a hermit. I'm prepared by stocking up so outside trips aren't necessary. I have better boots, lol, and almost waterproof gloves. I do have unfortunate luck with hats though, either they are so tight they slide up my hair, or so loose and floppy they don't keep out the cold. So I wrap my head and throat with a long scarf and look like a scary old granny.

I hope everyone who stops on this blog has a wonderful holiday season. If you're from the U.S wear sweatpants for turkey day. 

Don't bankrupt yourself buying gifts this year. If someone really needs uplifting gift groceries or cash. Whatever you do do Not support the big box stores and oligarch run businesses like Amazon, Target, and Walmart. Shop locally instead. We need to stop giving them our money to send a message that they will not control this country and abuse us to get richer.

Off my soap box. Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Kel 

Autumn has arrived!

I have no pretty pictures of colorful leaves just yet because they hadn't started to change until this past week.  The jungle of kudzu covered trees behind my apartment has changed to yellow this weekend and as in the past will quickly turn brown (so disappointing). I'm going to have to actually go outside and find the prettier trees. Unfortunately I'm not really able to trek far with my cane, but I'll try.

I used to live in a wooded community in Southern Maryland. It wasn't hard at all to see gorgeous color. Because of our location the leaves turned later. I would actually stress out if we had been in drought conditions because it meant leaves fell quickly and autumn was over in the blink of an eye.

The nights here in Ohio are finally turning colder, and we're expecting temps in the 50's this week. So this old autumn baby is happy. My decor is spread out making me smile, a change of scenery was well needed. I'll share my views below. I don't do spooky decorations as I used to, I've been forced to down size too many times and much went to goodwill. 

I hope that everyone can experience their own autumn fun. For my readers in the Southern hemisphere I know that summer is upon you. I'm sorry, this old fart would lose what's left of her marbles if my seasons were reversed. Living in Southern California for 9 years made me miserable. I don't care, Thanksgiving and Christmas are cold holidays and much of my seasonal happiness was lost there .

So gaze upon my meager decorations and be well.

Forget about medical

 I've blathered on about health issues that I have or have dealt with on this blog. Well the days of affordable care are over for this gal. I was forced out of Medicaid, was switched to a decent HMO, and now dumped into a PPO that costs me too much out of pocket. So no more specialists or diagnostic procedures, not when I can't afford my side of the payments. A $200 fee to cover a doctor appointment and labs is 200 I can't pay. So I won't be moving forward for any health care in the future. Otherwise I'll end up with medical debt. There will be a national problem with medical debt forth coming as the Medicaid cuts go into affect and I feel for those people who won't have a choice 

In other news I'm sure most people are aware of the assignation of Charlie Kirk. In my opinion any gun violence is too much.  But I heard Kirk's remarks about school shootings. He said that "sacrifices" must be made to protect the 2nd amendment. Meaning kids had to die so the right to bear arms could be upheld. Therefore, according to Kirk, his death is just another sacrifice. The anger spilling out of MAGA to blame liberals for his death is unjustified. If they believed what Kirk said then they should calm down. Where ..was their anger over the mass killings of innocent children?? Most liberals are against violence. I think that it was personal, that the shooter heard Kirk's take on school shootings, likely lost someone they loved, and believed in revenge. The shooter's t shirt was in support of disabled veterans. Instead of targeting the crowd, it was a single shot by someone who was trained as a sniper .

That's it for today.  

It's coming!!

 I can feel it coming, feel it peeking around the corner; I can sense that it's wearing a mischievous grin and has gleaming eyes. The wind gusts start the leaves chattering, "it's coming" they whisper loudly. Every insect screams a late summer song, while nights become colder, and geese direct their gaggle arrowing towards the South. That season of change is almost upon us as we think about grabbing a jacket.

If you cannot surmise by the above messy description, fall is coming. I much prefer that announcement over the oft quoted " Winter is coming." Traditionally Autumn is a season of plenty, the harvest gathering of summer's labors.  In the past winter meant shortages of food, deep cold and dark skies.

For All the lovers of October's burst of colors, singularly beautiful skies and frosty nights,Well Come. In my heart I wish that autumn lasted longer, it seems like such a long time before it returns. So my friends enjoy this bright festival filled month of good food, good spirits and spooky fun. I'm itching to pull out the fall decor but technically it's still late summer, and I'm old enough to not want time to speed up.

            

On standby

 Sometimes life gets bitchy and sticks it to ya. (Not the greatest first line but I'm in a slump, so bite me.)

I've been fortunate since I became unemployed, broke, and in the hospital in 2022. Even though at the time I felt like I was being buried by paperwork, it eventually paid off and I received Medicaid. For those who think people on Medicaid are moochers just shut up and try to develop some empathy. My body was messed up because for the 3 years I had been working I did not receive health insurance. I lived in constant pain and still worked. I didn't make enough money to afford to pay for it, and even though I worked plenty of over time I had been hired as part time.

I didn't know that the fall I had at home, when I was first employed, had fractured 3 discs in my back.  Believe me, over the counter pain meds did very little to help. It wasn't until I was unemployed and had Medicaid that I found out my back has broken. My employer worked us 30 days straight with no time off and dumped us on the 31st day.  No severance pay, just Get Out. This was August 2020, the height of COVID-19. I tried to get unemployment but was turned down. Millions of people were also applying at that time. I gave up.

If it wasn't for Medicaid I wouldn't have had the medical care that I really needed. I retired early after trying to work on a couple of jobs and didn't feel well doing so, turns out I had multiple health issues that needed to be addressed. Passing out or falling while at work wasn't something I was willing to do.

You don't just coast along with Medicaid, you are told several times a year to show your income sources and bills, it's a big hassle but one I had to do to keep my coverage. Then... I turned 65. Suddenly my status changed because I was applicable for Medicare. 

My financial situation had not changed but now I was expected to pay out of pocket. I'd certainly like to know why. Those 3 years on Medicaid proved my financial situation, and couldn't afford extra costs. I managed to get HMO coverage through Humana, which frankly was great, no out of pocket costs for 6 months anyway.

After 6 months Humana wanted to know if I was still covered under Medicaid. Medicaid advised Nope, you turned 65. So long story short I lost the perfect coverage. I was forced to change to a PPO. I'm expected to pay 20% of everything. So, unless I want to incur medical debt I can't use my insurance. Just stop everything that was being done to help me because I cannot afford to pay it. I might as well be right back where I was 5 years ago. Medical coverage means jack shit if you can't use it 

Sorry, but this topic has been stewing and boiling over since the end of June and it had to come out. 

Truly, I'd be more upbeat if I wasn't always fighting the system. There are plenty of things we seniors have to worry about in Trump world, the biggest being Social Security. If he plays games with Our money it's possible we'll be unable to pay rent and buy food, not that he'd ever care. It could create a terrible future with the elderly, millions of us, forced to the street.

His biggest fault, and we know he has many, is that he has never ever lived a life without luxury and money. He's never been hungry without food. He's never worried about not having rent money or a car payment. He's completely without empathy because he has nothing to relate to, and cannot perceive living as we do. So he doesn't care, at all. In fact the poor seem to be despised.

His Big Bullshit Bill proves that without a doubt.

My empathy and sympathy goes out to all the elderly, the very young and the disabled who will be losing their Medicaid during late December 25 and January 2026. Somehow we are all expected to go back to work and find money to pay for everything. It's not going to be good. Not everyone has family to help. Not everyone is fit enough to work. So Grandma and Grandpa are not going to be able to do it.

I have nothing nice to say about trump and those that thought he was the Messiah coming to make everything great. Say good bye to the America you thought would be restored, because Emperor trump wants total submission and control. Doesn't matter if you lose your rights, your insurance, your retirement, am I right? 

Good night and good luck.

And release the Epstein files. Trump has a history of sexual abuse. Let's bring it out into the daylight and expose him for what he really is.