"Uh..Uh..Uh..she does not live here anymore."
"what? when,?why?"
---> here is where I wonder if the real truth would be told, and I sincerely doubt it. Even I have not heard that yet.
Fumbling for a really good excuse when you are facing your ex's family? That would be priceless.
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Will not publish this till after they visit. Lol..two blogs in one.
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A very nice visit, the both of them have always been 2 of my favorite people since I was much much younger. Yes, questions were asked, I had no problem sharing some of my news from last few months. I only wish they could have stayed longer. Uncle John is now retired, Aunt De still working, and going out for back surgery at the end of this month. I truly hope that I get to see them more often. Christmas time was mentioned, and that would be so cool. Something about the season that I can actually look forward too, since I am half dreading the silence and the pain of being alone for the holiday.
I lived with someone for nine years that always hated that holiday. From December 5th through January 5th his mood would dive. From someone who says they are Mr Positive attitude, he needs to take a step back and ask why he is so determined to ruin his own peace in the season every single year. It was relayed before I left that he would "thankfully" not be celebrating Christmas this year. **Me, the Christmas enforcer..the Killer Elf.**
Yes, I did try during those 9 years to give the season a new meaning for him, and not let him fall into the doldrums. It is like any day what you make of it. Quiet joy and small surprises were what I had wanted to share with him, hoping that he would welcome a different take on a season that he has such a hard time dealing with. I believe that he instead prefers to celebrate the anger and sadness from his past because that is what he wants to happen.
Well enough rambling, bedtime here very soon. I do have one message to share from my Aunt to 'him' if he chooses to read this blog. She asked me to pass this on if I had the chance, then proceeded to say " Tell R we said "fuck you." Yup, that shocked me into laughing, very unexpected.
First I would like to clarify that none of my older family use words that to them are swear words very often. When they do use them it means there is true feeling behind them. ( Most of us today use those words which were once taboo to the generations before us like we were not swearing. They have become just another part of our vocabulary or slang. ) When she said that my mouth kind of fell open before I started to laugh. So, you can bet she really meant what she said. What a shame Mr r, for you had made a fairly favorable impression on them last summer. I was proud to sit on their deck and have you by my side, glad that you all were comfortable and enjoyed each others company. I was sharing you with two of the coolest relatives I know, folks that I respect and love, and I wanted you to be part of that too. You were my family, my closest friend, someone I loved and wanted them to love.
Well, that's gone. I think you would have loved being part of my family. I did very much enjoy being part of yours, Sherryll and all of her brood, the more the merrier. I feel it is a great loss for you to have lost the new extended family of cool people that would have been part of your life. Eh..enough. Too bad so sad for you.
Yack later,
k
ps: I know if you read this you will have some sarcy answer about me or my family, and not needing them or me. Or your traditional " You just don't get it" answer. I 'do' get it, you don't, and that is your loss. Your take on this matters not, it's just another way that we are different in how we view living.
8 comments:
Glad you had such a good visit with your Aunt and Uncle! What a nice surprise!
Love, Mel
I will not disrespect your family.
John and De are good people.
However, I also would not have shuttered, whilst looking for an answer. So, don't press the issue... My time is too short to spend any more of it holding back from answering questions, challenges, or what have you...
And yeah Christmas is hard for me. I've lost both parents and I've lost a now adult child.
Christmas is about these kinds of things, I will cast no blame for these losses on anyone other than myself. However these losses occurred over the same nine years in question... The pains were fresh, still are, but showing pain is not the same as hating something. The whole spectrum of human emotion is present during that time of year. And it is not a time to be alone. Nor is it a time to suppress the less than bubbly feelings that arise, especially when one is alone. So, no. I don't hate Christmas...
First, before I publish another's response, I would like to say that I did not instigate the comment made. I shared it because she requested I do so. Yes, I was a little shocked, but understood why she said that, it's about family, and feeling outraged for someone you love. If the situation were reversed and she had been in my place I might have said the same. I had actually only shared bare bones about life since past winter, the time did not allow, and other conversation was made. It was upon their leaving, when I got a little teary and stated how lucky they were to have had each other for so long, that they were blessed to have shared a love like that. I think she thought that was coming from hurt, it really was not. I do consider them to be very special. Any two people who can remain together through thick and thin, fight, and still come out loving each other, have something few people share.
Maybe she thought it would show how she cared, I don't know. But I won't retract what else I wrote. That on the summer day I was happy to have shared you with them, and vice a versa.
I won't go into the Christmas thing again. You have the right to feel however you wish at anytime of year. I am just sorry that I could not have eased some of your pain, I did try.
Up to you whether you publish this or not....I will understand if you don't.
Out of your entire blog entry, his primary response was that he doesn't hate Christmas?
Oh yeah, there was that bit thrown in stating that you shouldn't press any issues because he won't hold "back from answering any questions, challenges or what have you...." because his time is too short?
Funny, but if you had written that bit, in a response to something he wrote, it would be construed as a threat of some sort.
He has yet to answer a lot of questions that have been put to him. Guess he gets to pick which ones he wants to answer.
Love, Mel (see, I am not afraid to sign my comments!)
I love you Mel, you always get right to the heart of the matter. I really was not sure just how to respond, but since I do publish comments from everyone else, it only seemed fair to share his.
I am sorry r that you still mourn. I think our parents want better for us. It's the happy memories they would want to us to hold in our hearts. If I said that you hated Christmas, I will retract that. It's your life, obviously, to do as you please.
For me it has and always will be, (despite the times in my past that were not so good,) a time of quiet celebration, renewed hope and joy shared. To each their own.
k
The circle of life is that we live on after our ancestors (parents included) That we are unable to move on after losing them shows great immaturity. I lost my Dad when I was 24. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him, even though our relationship was at times very rocky. However, I am a grown woman and my belief is I will be reunited with him some day.
Our parents don't expect nor wish for us to grieve their passing forever. To use their loss as an excuse for that kind of behavior is just immature and selfish. Sorry. Just call it the way I see it.
Glad you had a fabulous visit with the relatives!
V
I sent that thru email because much only internet is here on my phone... And this doesn't always work smoothly. My primary reason, since you missed it was to say that I would not insult your family.
Also the whole "I know you will read this" also kind of prompted my reply.
The rest was just dribble, emotional rhetoric that I don't guess you needed here.
Sorry to have interrupted your days. I will return you all to your regularly scheduled program.
Ron
Again, Kelly, up to you if you publish this.
Ron, it was not missed that you said you would not disrespect Kelly's family. You wrote that in the first sentence.
Then, you wrote that her Aunt and Uncle are good people in the second sentence.
Then, you wrote that bit about not holding back.
Then you wrote 9-10 sentences about Christmas being hard for you. You chose to write that "dribble, emotional rhetoric" as you call it. There is nothing to be ashamed of in writing about your feelings.
And, you obviously read Kelly's blog, for whatever reason.
Glad you signed your name.
There was no interruption caused, no need for apology.
Mel
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