I guess I have never been the kind of female who recognizes male interest. This is probably because I don't walk around thinking guys are looking at me. If I do see that someone is watching it usually makes me wonder if my hair is sticking up, do I have a smudge on my face? Oh Hell! What is it??! And I move on, checking my hair to see if it is sticking up.
I don't think of myself as sexy. I do not even think of the words pretty. Frankly, I have been this way since puberty. Maybe it is a lack of self confidence, or just my perception of myself as a regular gal. If I hear someone make a comment about me, whether it's "you look great," or " your hair looks nice today," I thank them dryly and forget it was mentioned. For the most part disbelieving sincerity, even if it was meant well.
Yesterday I was training a new officer. We were walking around the facility and were entering the grandstand area because there had been a few complaints about access to and from the 2nd floor
A man stopped us," mumble-mumble..I have been coming here for 30 years and have never had this problem." I assisted the best that I could and was walking away with my trainee, a very sweet Indian lady who is a welcome addition to our crew. She said that "That man was checking you out."
I said" what?"
She said " Yes, when you turned your head he was looking at you closely."
I.." no way."
She "Yes way."
Me "Hmmm...doubtful."
*Privately--"eww!"*
And we moved on. So no, I don't see it. Maybe I am blind to it. I never approach anyone thinking that they are accessing me that way, especially men. (If I did I would be freaking paranoid where I work..there are thousands of customers there at any single time.) I don't think it's a flaw, I am just a realist when it comes to myself. Face it, when most of us look in the mirror we are not thinking.."Gosh! I am gorgeous today! I wonder if anyone will notice?"
(Are there people out there that do that?!)
This is going to make it very difficult to find someone new. I will have no idea if they are looking, unless they say something..and as I explained above...I'd be patting myself down making sure nothing was sticking out or up. And um...most of the people who talk to me are either asking about the casino, or asking me why they have to leave when they are likely intoxicated. I tend to not flirt with those under the influence, it would be a wasted (pun intended) effort.
So ends today's moment of introspection. It's was so hot out there today that if there was any pretty there it likely melted off. Ha!
have a good nite,
k
I don't think of myself as sexy. I do not even think of the words pretty. Frankly, I have been this way since puberty. Maybe it is a lack of self confidence, or just my perception of myself as a regular gal. If I hear someone make a comment about me, whether it's "you look great," or " your hair looks nice today," I thank them dryly and forget it was mentioned. For the most part disbelieving sincerity, even if it was meant well.
Yesterday I was training a new officer. We were walking around the facility and were entering the grandstand area because there had been a few complaints about access to and from the 2nd floor
A man stopped us," mumble-mumble..I have been coming here for 30 years and have never had this problem." I assisted the best that I could and was walking away with my trainee, a very sweet Indian lady who is a welcome addition to our crew. She said that "That man was checking you out."
I said" what?"
She said " Yes, when you turned your head he was looking at you closely."
I.." no way."
She "Yes way."
Me "Hmmm...doubtful."
*Privately--"eww!"*
And we moved on. So no, I don't see it. Maybe I am blind to it. I never approach anyone thinking that they are accessing me that way, especially men. (If I did I would be freaking paranoid where I work..there are thousands of customers there at any single time.) I don't think it's a flaw, I am just a realist when it comes to myself. Face it, when most of us look in the mirror we are not thinking.."Gosh! I am gorgeous today! I wonder if anyone will notice?"
(Are there people out there that do that?!)
This is going to make it very difficult to find someone new. I will have no idea if they are looking, unless they say something..and as I explained above...I'd be patting myself down making sure nothing was sticking out or up. And um...most of the people who talk to me are either asking about the casino, or asking me why they have to leave when they are likely intoxicated. I tend to not flirt with those under the influence, it would be a wasted (pun intended) effort.
So ends today's moment of introspection. It's was so hot out there today that if there was any pretty there it likely melted off. Ha!
have a good nite,
k
1 comment:
I think that there are lots of folks that don't think about the idea/fact that other people are looking at them "in that way". I don't think you have low self esteem at all! I think that you are jut comfortable in your own skin. You will know when someone is interested in you, and it will happen probably when you least expect it!
Love, Mel
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