I sort of have a small case of the blues this weekend. Perhaps it is the Winter doldrums, as each week that slides by feels the same to me. It is definitely NOT the blues over V-Day ( Yes, I interpret it as Venereal Disease day..wondering how many people get hurt over others physical interpretation of Love?) I have decided that it most assuredly my duty to myself to find something to fill my time besides work.
There are many opportunities that I fail at finding interesting, further servitude, though a wonderful idea, does not really fill my need to do something fun that brings sparks of ideas and energy back into my life. There are many that would find it fulfilling, but I am afraid I would carry someone else's pain home with me, having a sad tendency to empathize very strongly. I would doubt myself in the ability to really make a change for them, and get angry with a system that just keeps failing on it's citizens. Being angry or outraged, again, not my idea of joy. Yep, I do ponder these things at great length.
I'd love to work with animals, but unless someone wills me land and a farm I could not bring them all home with me as I would want to do. Animal abuse, seen firsthand, would cause me to commit violence on some ignorant evil person and likely cause me to spend time in jail.
Gardening is months away. I wish I had known about being here another year, I would have planted bulbs to welcome the spring. Perhaps I will find some other creative outlet? Painting? (loud annoying buzzer sounds!) Sewing? (another buzzer and me saying to myself "are you kidding me??") Another sad wreath for the door?
Sigh...
Cooking is out, I am fat enough. That leaves..walking. Walking on my days off used to invigorate me. Marching around the neighborhood with ear buds and avoiding loose dogs and bad drivers? Ok..I will give it a try. It's better than more callouses on my ass and damn Blah's.
If anyone has a suggestion..I am all ears...
literally..I could fly with these...
k
There are many opportunities that I fail at finding interesting, further servitude, though a wonderful idea, does not really fill my need to do something fun that brings sparks of ideas and energy back into my life. There are many that would find it fulfilling, but I am afraid I would carry someone else's pain home with me, having a sad tendency to empathize very strongly. I would doubt myself in the ability to really make a change for them, and get angry with a system that just keeps failing on it's citizens. Being angry or outraged, again, not my idea of joy. Yep, I do ponder these things at great length.
I'd love to work with animals, but unless someone wills me land and a farm I could not bring them all home with me as I would want to do. Animal abuse, seen firsthand, would cause me to commit violence on some ignorant evil person and likely cause me to spend time in jail.
Gardening is months away. I wish I had known about being here another year, I would have planted bulbs to welcome the spring. Perhaps I will find some other creative outlet? Painting? (loud annoying buzzer sounds!) Sewing? (another buzzer and me saying to myself "are you kidding me??") Another sad wreath for the door?
Sigh...
Cooking is out, I am fat enough. That leaves..walking. Walking on my days off used to invigorate me. Marching around the neighborhood with ear buds and avoiding loose dogs and bad drivers? Ok..I will give it a try. It's better than more callouses on my ass and damn Blah's.
If anyone has a suggestion..I am all ears...
literally..I could fly with these...
k
1 comment:
Completely agree about your reasoning for not working with animals!
Hope the walking helps you with the blahs and the lonelies!
Love, Mel
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