New Year 2014

I'm sending wishes, to whom ever visits this little blog of mine, to have a Wonderful New Year.
Find your Joy, what makes you happy and brings a smile. Sometimes it is not the big things but the little moments that make a difference.

When I thank God I always ask that he fill my heart with: Joy, Peace, Hope,Love, Faith, and Light.. to be a positive person. I have found that it really has helped me grow beyond my past.

This does not mean that I will wear blinders and never see what is wrong in our world. I will continue to throw my two cents in when I feel outraged or upset. I feel that uncloaking the wrongs is the fastest way to make the changes that we need.

I hope that 2014 will be an awakening for those that tuck their heads in the sand and hide from unpleasantness. Open your eyes and see what is wrong so it can be made right. Turn that dark into Light.
Make a difference for the good, be a voice.

Love, K

On rapid feet

On rapid little little feet Christmas swiftly approaches. There will not be too much celebration here, I will be working. But I will make the Christmas cookies to share with others. I will spread the word "Merry Christmas!" with those coming and going. I will keep it alive in my heart.

My tree is small yet beautiful. I light it each night and it warms my heart. Gilligan tucks himself into a chair nearby and sleeps in it;s light.  Animals..I have always felt, know the joy of Christmas...it's simplistic message of love and peace. As a child I used to wonder..because our animal friends acted differently on Christmas, like they knew something special was happening. They quietly yet expectantly waited on Christmas morning. I remember talking to my brothers about this.

Was it just a fantasy that animals can speak or understand on Christmas? Perhaps, but they seem to share the anticipation..the waiting. Or was this just a dream I really wanted?

I know from past experience that our dogs and cats were watchful and waiting on Christmas eve. I'd like to believe that they shared in the joy. Even today Gilligan respects the Christmas tree, and would rather lay near it then climb it. He knows that there is something under the tree for him.

Nightmares and dreamscapes

(currently being given the 'evil eye' by Gilligan-he was quite comfortably laying in my lap when I decided to write a new entry. Oh! Now I am getting the 'hang your head over the edge of the bed and look woeful' pose. Guess I will have to make up for the inattention in a few minutes.)

Let's see...not going to write about the holidays and my situation, that's been talked about before.
Work is getting worrisome due to everyone's hours being cut due to the company not pulling in the profit it once did. This is because of new casinos in the area and the economy. Not much we can do about it but try to hang in there. It is making it more difficult getting from one paycheck to another. But...I have also mentioned that in a previous blog.

No, tonight I will share with you a nightmare, not something real, but instead something scary that occasionally visits me in dreams.  First understand that I am 54 years old. I used to think that bad dreams were the stuff of childhood. Anxiety dreams followed me through high school, usually at the beginning and the end of the school year. You know, dreams where you cannot find your locker, or somehow end up at school missing articles of clothing, missing your bus..etc. But I had truly believed that those days of nightmares were over.

I had a few doozy nightmares as a child that would repeat themselves every now and again. Tornado dreams, dark scary basement dreams, and yes some monster dreams. (don't you hate the ones where you feel frozen and unable to move away from whatever dreadful creature is coming towards you? I would always force myself awake, then realize that what I had opened my eyes to looked just like what I had been dreaming, and THAT freaked me out.)

But the one and only nightmare that has followed me through my entire life is...Godzilla. Oh hell yes..I know you are laughing, but it's true. (damn you) The dreams differ only by location. It is the sounds and the fear filled dread that is consistently present in all of them. I hear footsteps. Big damn footsteps that cause the earth to tremble and things to rattle on the shelves and sometimes fall off. You just know he is very close even though you cannot yet see him. You try to find a safe hiding spot.(really? Is there one? I mean he can crush whatever building, tree or bridge that is in his path.)

The latest version had me as part of a team that was (I assume) a "Godzilla Tracking team." (lmao) We traveled though a city that was partially demolished and seemed deserted of humans other than us. I assume it had become demolished where ever that big damn thing had already visited. We went from train station to skyscrapers, to finally a relatively untouched residential area. The few people that I was with were the only ones present, though it turned out that the animals had been left behind.

We could hear him getting closer. Everyone was frantically looking at the trees and sky, because you know he is one dang big bugger. It was decided in whispers to take our chances hiding in someone's open garage that had a closet. Well naturally, I just had to pick up a cat who was walking around and take it in there with me. As we were closing the door and attempting complete silence the footsteps came ever closer. Suddenly a previously unseen cat started to howl  (frigging loudly) at my feet. I tried shushing the cat..but it was too late. The footsteps stopped and the roar from the creature was so loud I knew it was close to where we were hiding.

Heart pounding and adrenalin flowing I woke up before I could be crushed or eaten. It was 5:15 a.m. Flip the light on next to my bed. Lay listening to the silence. Wondering why in the hell I still had dreams like this. Get up, check the few room in my place and lay back down. Waiting for my heart to settle back down.

I guess my claim to fame will be a very active subconscious that likes to keep me awake at nights.
You'd think at my age I would have different kinds of dreams instead of childhood nightmares. But Nooooo, not this gal.

I think it would be very polite if Godzilla gives me a years reprieve before visiting me in my sleep again.

Argh!
K