We have become very "self serving" in today's world. Why do so many relationships fail today instead of continuing like our grandparents? Because we think in "I' and not we, or us. I fear the days of marriage lasting those amazing 50 years are gone. If you do know of one of those marriages it is likely that they are from an earlier generation.
When those folks fell in love back then it was forever, come better or worse, and they faced those times together, because they gave each other strength. Adversity was a challenge met by 2 and not 1. They respected each other, and treated each other as they would want to be treated.
Today's world is so very much "me-me-me", what am I not getting that I need? Why is this person that I married not taking care of me? Why am I doing everything myself? I deserve better. The message that is sent by our statements to each other reinforces that. Belittling, not listening, only reacting makes both people wrong.
We have lost the "we." Being in two failed relationships myself I can see that. Some of it was my fault, and definitely some of it was theirs. I thought I was working for the We, but obviously not since it ended in failure. That was both of our faults, not exclusively mine.
I have lost faith in a relationship working and have no desire to ever search or start another one.
If that means being by myself then so be it. I am happy being alone. I have four legged friends to help, and two legged friends to make me feel happy about being who I am. I do not feel that another person can complete me because only I can do that.
I'll never meet another man again who will change that belief. I have seen far too many failures to keep the dream of a "soul mate" alive for me. Maybe somewhere in the distant past I had been a part of a great love. Maybe that's why I have tried for so long, or perhaps I believed in fairy tales.
There is no "I" in a marriage. If there is not a "We" than there is nothing.
Not intending to be dark, but it's been a rough night here. Neither party was innocent. But if they only see their own side then they really do not have a "We." Things were said, actions were taken that were nothing but wrong. Being an observer was painful, and keeping my mouth shut was harder still.
A marriage that works takes a lot of compromise, it cannot be one sided. There can only be "we."
~K
When those folks fell in love back then it was forever, come better or worse, and they faced those times together, because they gave each other strength. Adversity was a challenge met by 2 and not 1. They respected each other, and treated each other as they would want to be treated.
Today's world is so very much "me-me-me", what am I not getting that I need? Why is this person that I married not taking care of me? Why am I doing everything myself? I deserve better. The message that is sent by our statements to each other reinforces that. Belittling, not listening, only reacting makes both people wrong.
We have lost the "we." Being in two failed relationships myself I can see that. Some of it was my fault, and definitely some of it was theirs. I thought I was working for the We, but obviously not since it ended in failure. That was both of our faults, not exclusively mine.
I have lost faith in a relationship working and have no desire to ever search or start another one.
If that means being by myself then so be it. I am happy being alone. I have four legged friends to help, and two legged friends to make me feel happy about being who I am. I do not feel that another person can complete me because only I can do that.
I'll never meet another man again who will change that belief. I have seen far too many failures to keep the dream of a "soul mate" alive for me. Maybe somewhere in the distant past I had been a part of a great love. Maybe that's why I have tried for so long, or perhaps I believed in fairy tales.
There is no "I" in a marriage. If there is not a "We" than there is nothing.
Not intending to be dark, but it's been a rough night here. Neither party was innocent. But if they only see their own side then they really do not have a "We." Things were said, actions were taken that were nothing but wrong. Being an observer was painful, and keeping my mouth shut was harder still.
A marriage that works takes a lot of compromise, it cannot be one sided. There can only be "we."
~K
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