Fortunately I have long since become direct and to the point when I have an issue with someone.
I don't slink around with my nose in the air because I believe that someone slighted me in some way.
I don't ignore greetings or farewells because 'that' person dissed me. I zero in, confront and clear the air so that life can move on as usual.
There is a young girl who works at KP in the Pharmacy. I won't say her name or location. She
got her nose out of joint when I started last winter parking the security vehicle in a close and prominent position in front of the facility. I did not know it was an issue until she started parking exactly where the truck would go. And so it went on, I either parked somewhere else conspicuous or
when she was at lunch, when I normally arrive, I parked where I had been.
Now I had been informed that employees of Kaiser are supposed to park at the edges of the lot allowing members to park closer. I don't work for Kaiser, I work with them and for a different company. I believe that it is better for the facility that the security vehicle is parked during off hours where someone in the parking lot will notice, and I don't believe that I am wrong for believing so.
I guess someone said something to her when I asked who the 'gold' car belonged to. When I am posted for the evening in the building she rarely answers my "have a good night." And I feel that she is sharing her bad feelings with one of the nurses upstairs. Because my hi and have a good day was completely ignored, yet the 'girl' (yes I did say that) did speak to the person who entered after me..and then along came Miss Pissed Off.
Little girls..they are so much crueler than boys. Boys get mad, throw some punches and then are friends again in 5 minutes. Girls plot. They aim to hurt. They exclude. And it will continue until there is someone else who makes them mad.
I learned in the early stages of my marriage (of 19 years..and over now) that fighting angrily is not the way I function. I have to stop, compose and then say what I really have to say without responding with pure emotion. ( THIS does not apply to people who have deliberately hurt me..I did curse a blue streak and do not regret it.) The same goes for me approaching someone who talks behind my back. I might be warned to say nothing, but that solves nothing. The words will continue, and the damage will be done. Instead..I use assertiveness and the "I" feel and never "You did this."
It has worked well for me in the past. Poof..explanation and no more bad feelings or talk. So I will eventually approach her and give it a try. "Hey, I'm not sure what I did or said..but if I upset you then I am sorry." As simple as that. And if that does not work? Then she really is just a girl child who wants her way. And I will still say "Hello" and Have a good night." Because? I'll keep the peace but I really don't give a chit how she feels. In the interest of a happy work environment only. I think there is a princess complex there. She is beautiful on the outside, and a little girl on the inside.
~K
I don't slink around with my nose in the air because I believe that someone slighted me in some way.
I don't ignore greetings or farewells because 'that' person dissed me. I zero in, confront and clear the air so that life can move on as usual.
There is a young girl who works at KP in the Pharmacy. I won't say her name or location. She
got her nose out of joint when I started last winter parking the security vehicle in a close and prominent position in front of the facility. I did not know it was an issue until she started parking exactly where the truck would go. And so it went on, I either parked somewhere else conspicuous or
when she was at lunch, when I normally arrive, I parked where I had been.
Now I had been informed that employees of Kaiser are supposed to park at the edges of the lot allowing members to park closer. I don't work for Kaiser, I work with them and for a different company. I believe that it is better for the facility that the security vehicle is parked during off hours where someone in the parking lot will notice, and I don't believe that I am wrong for believing so.
I guess someone said something to her when I asked who the 'gold' car belonged to. When I am posted for the evening in the building she rarely answers my "have a good night." And I feel that she is sharing her bad feelings with one of the nurses upstairs. Because my hi and have a good day was completely ignored, yet the 'girl' (yes I did say that) did speak to the person who entered after me..and then along came Miss Pissed Off.
Little girls..they are so much crueler than boys. Boys get mad, throw some punches and then are friends again in 5 minutes. Girls plot. They aim to hurt. They exclude. And it will continue until there is someone else who makes them mad.
I learned in the early stages of my marriage (of 19 years..and over now) that fighting angrily is not the way I function. I have to stop, compose and then say what I really have to say without responding with pure emotion. ( THIS does not apply to people who have deliberately hurt me..I did curse a blue streak and do not regret it.) The same goes for me approaching someone who talks behind my back. I might be warned to say nothing, but that solves nothing. The words will continue, and the damage will be done. Instead..I use assertiveness and the "I" feel and never "You did this."
It has worked well for me in the past. Poof..explanation and no more bad feelings or talk. So I will eventually approach her and give it a try. "Hey, I'm not sure what I did or said..but if I upset you then I am sorry." As simple as that. And if that does not work? Then she really is just a girl child who wants her way. And I will still say "Hello" and Have a good night." Because? I'll keep the peace but I really don't give a chit how she feels. In the interest of a happy work environment only. I think there is a princess complex there. She is beautiful on the outside, and a little girl on the inside.
~K
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