I am officially retired now. Because I did so 3 years early I don't receive full benefits. I can live with that. My living situation has been precarious, no food money and past due bills. EBT came through today so I can finally food shop. Admit that my fridge and cupboards are pretty bare right now. Shopping, while physically painful will be appreciated. And for the first time since summer 2017 I have health insurance, Medicaid. Really needed that.
Still pending is housing assistance. I've had 2 eviction notices. Been waiting since June for my paperwork to be approved. This would be short term help, to get me out of the hole I've been in . Afterwards my SS should be enough.
I never thought that I'd be in this situation. Never thought that I'd need state help. But when you're looking at a future that places you in a card board box hungry you do what you need to do. Emotionally in late May of this year I was in a very bad place. Actually wrote a letter explaining my choice to leave everything behind. My Best friends helped, encouraging me to fight back. Find my strength again, to reach for a positive outcome . I've kept that letter in a draft never mailed. It's a reminder that "Yes I can." And to stop procrastinating because it's the big defeater.
Depression runs on both sides of my family. I'm very susceptible to it, especially when I'm panicking, believing that there is no way out. At least twice in my life I've considered suicide. What helps me is being proactive. I'm extremely grateful for friends that care, and they've been my friends for over 40 years. Hard to believe that it's been that long . Love them so much.
Enough for now,
K
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