Dreams of vacations

**This is for you Mel**

   I can still hear the gulls and other seabirds chattering and cawing by the shore. I can still feel the warm silk of sand between my toes as it slides with each step taken. I can still smell that 'beach' smell of salt mixed with seaweed and suntan lotion. I can still feel the breeze play with my hair as I turn over to get deeper into the book I am reading. I can still feel the pull of the ocean as I step into the waves and the sands pulls back out to sea creating a hole where I stand with the water receding. Sigh...

   It's hard when you hear others talk about going on their vacations or talking about them when they return with a glowing face from the sunshine. I miss those years when vacations were easier to afford and not so very rare. I try not to be jealous since it is such a negative emotion and gets you no where really. But I certainly can and do dream about having one again someday. The lack of money does not kill dreams, it just makes them more precious.

  I do have hope for the future. Despite the odds that face me financially I have not given up.  Who cares if it is considered unrealistic?? My mind is a garden path that wanders where it might and does not care if there is a 'real possibility.' The ground is packed and firm from my frequent steps wandering around the grounds. I pass the flowers and enter the trees searching for a new direction to dream.

That is my foray into dreamland, and I know the way quite well.


K

Hot Weekend

(wondering how many search engines will hit this because of the word "hot? Over sexed people are just so sad. :-( .)

No really, a very hot and steamy weekend for me. The next 3 days are supposed to climb into the 90's, and we have been in the jungle humidity for a while now. Somehow I feel like this is a reverse repeat of the winter months, tucked into the apartment because it's either way too cold, or way too hot to be outside.
 I have to wonder how our grandparents did this without air conditioning, and I melt at the thought.

In other mundane and trifling news, I am patiently waiting for my few tomatoes to start turning red. The plant was designed to be for a container, so it is small and not the monster of previous years. Waiting is not something I excel at, so I might just hit up the local vegetable stand to see if they have any ripe tomatoes for me to salivate over.

I shall have to step forth into the steam bath to get my laundry done...UGH. I swear the next place I settle myself will have a washer and a dryer in the house. No cool basement here..just lugging the basket through purgatory.

The Gilly is stretched out on my side of the bed taking nap number 3. I swear sometimes he pesters me to get up just to get my spot. Happy cat because I am off today, but still a lonely boy during the work week. I keep telling him it won't be forever, but not sure if he believes me anymore. He is a wonderful furry room mate and friend, just wish he knew how to set up the coffee, lol.

That's all for now. Shake ups at work have little to do with me. They are trimming costs, halting hiring, and not filling positions in my department. The salaried supervisor position is only open for Grave shift, and I found out that shift was not conducive to a happy me when I worked it last year. I liked the people but hated the lifestyle it forced me into. I've been waiting a while for the magic move, but it looks like I will be waiting longer. No biggie, over time is not paid to salaried employees, it can be a real drag for them when they have to work on their days off.

Doc appointment tomorrow, hopefully last one so I can forward all this paperwork into the insurance company and wait for their answer.

Have a hot one...lol
K

Back to Normal

Well, maybe back to as normal as my life gets anyway. Between work and class this woman has been running ragged for several months. My hours at work had been cut to save the company a few bucks, so I picked up overtime when I could. Not only were there less hours, but there were also unfortunately timed reasons for pay being sucked out of my checks, which made for some hair pulling moments when I saw just how much had been taken from my check.

Every year at this time we have to "P-A-Y" for the privilege of working at the casino. Yes, you read that right, we have to pay for a  lottery license out of our checks so we can work there,. (there is also a a $20 racing licence once a year.) The license costs $100,(which is equivalent to 2+ days of work before taxes.).  I've never worked anywhere where the employees are responsible for paying for their own licensing. I could see it it we were independently employed,  but we are not, we work for a very large and wealthy corporation.

The next check sucker was a loan I was forced to take on my 401K to pay for last Septembers medical bill to the local hospital. I had no other choice, and preferred to not have my pay garnished again. It is way to hard to keep my chin above the rising tide of bills when something comes along that won't take your tiny payments without taking you to court. At least I am in a sense paying myself back with the money.

And finally, I have reached the required payback to the State of West Virginia after almost 2 years of garnishment. Will they stop sucking the money out of my check now? Despite phone calls I kind of expect them to say "whoops! We are not sending that fax to stop, lets take some more!"  Funny...I just registered my car yesterday for 2014. In order to do that here you have to bring proof that you have paid your Personal Property taxes. When I arrived home, there in my mailbox was a questionnaire from the tax assessors office asking me if I had anything else that I SHOULD be paying on. I have to tell you what my take is on West Virginia tax departments ..."little Ebenizer Scrooges scrunching their numbers and picking up voo-doo dolls and searching their pockets for change." I have never felt as hunted as I do in this state. They tax us to the limit on food, gasoline and cigarettes, then Personal property taxes (which I have to pay for Jefferson county, and again for living in Charles Town) and then State taxes.  Oh..if by some strange stroke of luck you get a Federal refund, they want that too.

And lastly, good new,  I get my Tuesdays back since my class in Aspiring Leaders is over, graduation was held today. It was nice getting to know a few of the folks in other departments that shared the class with me. We painfully graduated with a 1-2 minute  presentation a piece as the entertainment. I did ok, I know I could have done better, but my entire weekend was spent racing around the clock to run the casino and handle the huge 'Price is Right' show that was held Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Everybody in Security had mandatory over time. So I am running pretty dang tired for having no real down time for at least 4 weeks. I'm looking forward to my life returning to as normal as it gets.

I know I am jumping from subject to subject, must be that I am running on fragmented thoughts today, way over tired. Yesterday (yes, I was off..but was I really?) I spent the morning having needles stuck into my body with electrical shocks at the Neurologists office. Officially I have some (normal for my age) degenerative  disc disease in my back. I also have 3 bulging discs likely related to the August 2012 car accident, and compressed nerves in my right arm and left leg. When they say that getting older is not for sissy's they really meant it. After the session of med-evil torture I went for torture of a different sort at the local DMV, followed by an afternoon of trying to catch up on laundry. I was so tired I knocked 3 glasses and a coffee mug into the sink while unloading the dish washer. Dang..I did not have enough ummph to even curse properly at that.

So according to the doctor my future appointments will be with a Physical Therapist and a Pain Management clinic. This is depending on the cost, unless the stupid Claims Adjuster at State Farm ever gets the answers they want for a settlement. If they do then the appointments will be kept without a problem.

 As I hauled the clothes back and forth to the laundry room yesterday I kept thinking that it was so beautiful; warm not hot, soft breezes...I could not stop myself from thinking what a perfect beach day it would have been... Warm sand, the sound of the sea, a good book, and bone melting relaxation. I miss that...vacations...well, what they used to be in my long ago past.

Thus ends the novel for today. I hope that everyone is doing well and feeling happy,
K

Born into the wrong time

Longing..sometimes almost a  sense of loss..these are things that I feel when I watch a movie that
bursts with life from the earlier part of the last century. The succulent and sinful roaring 20's, the stunningly striking 30's, and the music and vibrancy that filled you with life 40's. I feel like I have missed something that used to be mine.

Reincarnation? Possibly, who really knows. I just know that there are many times that I feel like I do not belong to this time and place. I have no idea if I am part of many, or exclusively alone in my dilemma. I love the music, the clothes, the spirit of those times. So yes, I do wonder if the person I was before left those years behind so that I could step into their shoes and begin again.  I long for times that will never come again.

As far as I can surmise, there is No perfect time to be alive, all those years that came before came with their own sets of sorrows and tribulation. But why this longing? Why do I feel so many times that I don't belong here today? Maybe it is the loss of something that is important to me and is disappearing in today's world....

I cannot put a finger on it...lack of respect for each other....lack of expected manners...lack of innocent joy....pleasure with the simple things that life can bring...the soft romantic side of life...or is it distrust of today? Today I feel that that our way of life is drawn and enforced by the powerful that have their own vision, and it is Not Us surviving..it's them. I feel like a helpless pawn at times, marching towards whatever
vision someone else has determined for me and those like me.

So maybe it's natural to want to be in some other time, some place that remains untouched by the power brokers of today's world. To be someplace innocent...to be someone unaffected by the world of today.
So now I submit that if I had a time machine, it would not take me to a place I have been in this life time, but to another life time that calls to me.

what is fair?

I've fallen behind in my blogging. I feel that this is due to me 'griping' about the same old things, and even I get tired of writing about that. It's been a weird past two weeks with the Notorious Murphy stopping by to stir things up again. All I want is resolution, and the ability to be comfortable financially. If we were ever paid a Fair Wage in our lifetime it would be a very good thing. And while we are busy being fair, how about a "fair Tax?"

My late Uncle Jack was very passionate about the "Fair Tax" concept. Essentially no more regular income tax. If you purchase luxury items the sales tax would be higher, taking the place of the blood letting from our salaries. I am sure Big Business would be the first to veto this idea. Cars, computers, houses, electronics, vacations, etc....would cost more. But, here is the thing:: if you take home more money you could afford to buy the items that were being taxed at a higher rate.  On the other hand if you did not need those things you could bring home more money to feed your family, pay your rent, see doctors when you need to.

It feels to me like a dream, nice, but you know how hard the Republicans and Big Business will fight against it. Likely calling those who want the fair wage and fair tax socialists (gasp!). And Lord knows just how afraid most of the stupid people in this country are about socialism..I think it sits right beside 'Sexually transmitted diseases, and Sasquatch on their shelf of ignorance.

I have not given up hope. I believe that some people are waking up. There is a huge leap in activism on the internet these days. Monsanto is being battled across the world, and just a few years ago they seemed untouchable, free to poison and steal farmer's lands in outrageously unfair court battles. Animal rights activists are making a difference as well. I hope someday that enlightenment will spread like wildfire across the world.
After all, they are the few, and we are the many. They do not own the world...but they will take it if we don't stand up and speak against it. "Certain unalienable human rights...the right to pursue happiness," they meant something important at our start. Maybe someday they can shine again.

g'nite
K

Don'tcha just wish

Don'tcha just wish you could return the favor to spammers?
Flood their in box with loud screaming "HEY YOU!" subject lines?
I really have no idea why they continue considering most of us
have filters on our email accounts.

I dislike commercials on TV, and I doubly dislike them in my mail.

In my opinion it takes a special kind of asshole to be a spammer.

Nuff said,
K

The case of the Exploding hair!

For the last 9 months (or longer) I have foregone cutting my hair. Yes, it has grown quite long, a lot of that due to not having the cash for a cut, and some due to my own need for a different look.  Today was the straw that tipped the scale over to "Cut if Off!"

Humidity is not my friend, at least not with my current hair length, which is to my shoulder blades. Yes, it does have a certain amount of natural curl. I use extra conditioner, and 2 hair products which are basically oils to keep it tame. I can remember my youth and almost waist length perfectly straight hair. Unfortunately my hair is predominantly gray, never mind that the gray has been colored for age coverage. My gray hair? Totally has a mind of it's own. Cork screw curls or completely frizzy depends on the weather entirely.

Now that Summer is approaching the humidity has returned and with it....Hair Explosion!

I stopped on this seriously busy night and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror...YEA GADS!
My hair was everywhere, like it's own exploration team, trying to cover all the bases everywhere.
Poodle poof has nothing on me,.It was very humid, and with a jacket and a long sleeved blouse I felt like I had taken a shower mid shift and had forgotten to dry off afterwards. There was no taming it, one head band and two big barrettes could not hold it down. I worked damage control all night to no avail.

So naturally I am considering returning to a manageable length, one where it does not "poof", with the weather. I had hoped to be able to have length enough to pull it up for the hotter months. Now I do not feel that it is a viable option. Since we do Not run around with mirrors while working, I can only imagine what our guests were thinking when they saw my unruly mop. ( oh poor girl! She looks like Glenda the good witch.)

Yes, it is nice to have a change of hair styles, it keeps us fresh and not bored with our looks. But sometimes those changes do not work in our favor. My curiosity has been appeased, I surrender to the blade that can stop the hair explosion. I shall be calling my angel with scissors on Monday to tackle the jungle that my hair has become.

For your own safety, please stay far away from my hair...it might grab and suck you in....

K