Seems impossible, I mean really??

There were 384 hits to this blog since yesterday. How is that possible? Who would visit that often? Has me thinking that my blog is linked to something else that is wildly more interesting..lol.

Not much news here, plugging away on the new job, my 90 day review is next month, and my benefits will start then as well. It has it's days of boring, and sometimes weeks where the action does not stop. I get to meet some nice people during my day, mostly the Ancillary clerks at the clinics, but also the medical directors in Administration. If someone shares clues that they would prefer to be left alone, I mind them and just say my hello's and git.

We have had some weeks of beautiful almost spring like weather, but winter is projected to return with a vengeance this coming weekend. I won't hold my breath, because forecasts here change quickly, but they are calling for 8-12 inches of snow Friday through Sunday. This will make for a challenging start for my week.

Wishing everyone well (except for a few that I am better off not mentioning) and hope that winter is treating you well.

Love,
K

Like Minds and thinking alike

Just a quick note regarding something that I am happy to have found.

Colorado..famous for the Rocky Mountains

Colorado..famous for pot legalization

Colorado..famous for it's Bronco fans

Colorado,.,famous for being conservative....

I must admit to feeling more than a bit repressed since my move here because there
are certain things I am not allowed to discuss in the house..namely politics, fracking,
chem trails, and the corporate controlled media. I was beginning to feel I could not express myself at
all, it was not appreciated and I was even told to NOT talk about those things and others.

So I must admit to feeling relieved and refreshed to find out that I am not the lone
liberal in Larimer county. I have spoken with a co-worker, who I will not name, but
totally enjoyed speaking with about all those mentioned things above and more. It was like
finding a friend in an unexpected place.

The other was a bit more surreal, but that was only due to the fact that it was snowing and I
was cleaning off my car at home when he walked up. This nice man had taken on an enormous
task in trying to get people interested in solar gardens on a day that mother nature blew heavy snow on him. He assured me, while we made small talk about solar, that I was not alone, and that there were many out there that care about the things I was forbidden to discuss.

So, I feel a little less the odd ball, and more than a little relieved to meet these folks.
Sometimes the above mentioned subjects, when brought into conversation, actually scare people, make them uncomfortable, and it's an iffy thing when you take that chance.

So..feeling not alone anymore,

K

There is no "I"

We have become very "self serving" in today's world. Why do so many relationships fail today instead of continuing like our grandparents? Because we think in "I' and not we, or us. I fear the days of marriage lasting those amazing 50 years are gone. If you do know of one of those marriages it is likely that they are from an earlier generation.

When those folks fell in love back then it was forever, come better or worse, and they faced those times together, because they gave each other strength. Adversity was a challenge met by 2 and not 1. They respected each other, and treated each other as they would want to be treated.

Today's world is so very much "me-me-me", what am I not getting that I need? Why is this person that I married not taking care of me? Why am I doing everything myself? I deserve better. The message that is sent by our statements to each other reinforces that. Belittling, not listening, only reacting makes both people wrong.

We have lost the "we." Being in two failed relationships myself I can see that. Some of it was my fault, and definitely some of it was theirs. I thought I was working for the We, but obviously not since it ended in  failure. That was both of our faults, not exclusively mine.

I have lost faith in a relationship working and have no desire to ever search or start another one.
If that means being by myself then so be it. I am happy being alone. I have four legged friends to help, and two legged friends to make me feel happy about being who I am. I do not feel that another person can complete me because only I can do that.

I'll never meet another man again who will change that belief. I have seen far too many failures  to keep the dream of a "soul mate" alive for me. Maybe somewhere in the distant past I had been a part of a great love. Maybe that's why I have tried for so long, or perhaps I believed in fairy tales.

There is no "I" in a marriage. If there is not a "We" than there is nothing.

Not intending to be dark, but it's been a rough night here. Neither party was innocent. But if they only see their own side then they really do not have a "We." Things were said, actions were taken that were nothing but wrong. Being an observer was painful, and keeping my mouth shut was harder still.

A marriage that works takes a lot of compromise, it cannot be one sided. There can only be "we."

~K

I is froze

I is froze
First mah fingahs
den mah toes.
Not to mention
mah little red nose.

Damn! Cold. Damn Cold!! When I left work tonight the thermometer on my car read -6 degrees.
Part of my job is checking perimeters and doors, hence my silly remark of being frozen. Not quite used to these extremely low temperatures yet. Colorado's weather never stays anything for long, it's always changing. We had about 8 inches of snow on Christmas and the 26th. Then it snowed some more on Sunday and Monday, and Mother Nature ushered in some very frigid weather. Tomorrow's high of 22 will seem like a much welcomed heat wave.

I heard via the Weather Channel that So Cal and Las Vegas were going to get snow on New Years Eve, I'd hate to be an insurance agent in that region on New Years Day..lol. Fender Benders everywhere.

Wishing everyone a great New Year in 2015.

~K

O.T.

O.T.makes me zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Weird that in my first week they were already hitting me up for over time. Funny that the lady doing the hiring stated "If you have to work over then you will come in later the next day." Oh really? Pardon me if I keep falling asleep while writing this note. I have been asked to work over an average of 2 times a week since I started. And of course I said yes.

The 40 hour week of constant driving makes this gal tired enough. Add more hours onto the day and snowy/icy weather? I'm ready for bed when I clock out.

I like being out on my own. I do not mind the drive. I just want to be awake while doing it.

I know..picky-picky, you cannot have Everything! You silly girl.


zzzzzzz~K

It's the little things

It's the little things that can make my day. With my current job I am frequently alone, which is something that I have always wanted to try in my adult life, be my own boss, for the most part.
Some might think that would make me a lonely person, but that's not the way my mind works. The wheels turn all the time without having to have someone there with me. I travel from office to office, so I do meet people during my shift. But sometimes something unexpected gives my day a happy boost.

Yesterday while visiting one of the Loveland offices something in the sky caught my eye. I have only witnessed this sighting once before in my life, but each time leaves me with a feeling of awe that comes out of my mouth as "Aw! Wow, look at that!" Riding the wind currents (which can be pretty strong here) was a Bald Eagle. Flying over the parking lots and over buildings, he seemed the embodiment of freedom. It was beautiful. But..as my mind works things out.."Hmm...lots of fat geese flying around here too! He might be looking for a Christmas dinner." Lol...

Later that same day, as I was patrolling slowly through another lot in Fort Collins...waddling (and taking their sweet time) was a gathering of those same geese. It brought me another smile watching them strolling ahead of me. (guess they were lucky to not run into that eagle.)

Today as I walked yet another parking lot I saw two large birds in a grassy area. I assumed that they were geese, but when they flew away together I noted that they were Cranes or Herons. I have not seen a crane nor an eagle since I left southern Maryland. Those brief sightings totally made my day.
My father thinks that I am fascinated with the migratory geese who gather in Loveland and the surrounding areas for the winter. Well, I am! I was always happy to see them back east, but they were always few in number, which made me sad that there were so few when at one time there were millions. Out here in Colorado I see hundreds if not thousands each week.

I joke, when I am home and outside, that when they leave Loveland for Fort Collins in a group that they have dinner reservations. When a large group flies back..dinner is over, time for bed. I love that I can see so many of them. Yes, you got to watch out for goose poop in most places, but it's worth it.
It's good that they can co-exist with man here. Loveland and the surrounding areas, are not small. There are a lot of people, cars, homes and businesses. I was afraid that my country days were over.
But..they are not, and that is a very good thing.

Have a g'night,
K

Get set and go!

Tomorrow is the first day of my new job. I'm a bit nervous, a little excited, but mostly happy to
be productive again. My savings are almost depleted, and Christmas looks to be a very simple one.

We have agreed to gift each other with something whimsical. I'm easy..hey, not that way! I meant that anything "Cat" will make me happy. I'm having more trouble thinking up something affordable and whimsical for Dad and De. Dogs and cats are already taken care of, as well as stocking stuffers for the above mentioned two.

The first days on the job will be about training, and I am sure that company policy will be a big one.
Their Surveillance runs Control, unlike the casino where I was past employed. My GPS and radio are my time clock and how they keep track of me as I am 45 miles from home base.

Cannot wait to get a real paycheck again. Things are tight in every way here, even meals. I am getting royally tired of sandwiches. A nice shot of whiskey would have been a appreciated to help me sleep tonight..but Mother Hubbard's cupboard is bare, and beer is not quite the same, lol.

I likely will not be online as much as I have been the past few months. I need a break from that as well, it's getting damn boring. If Santa does hear my wishes a good book (that I have not read before) would be very nice, Santa aside, I am very grateful for what I do have and the chance to begin again.
Christmas service will be especially beautiful this year, I find myself teary when in church, and I am not sure why. Perhaps because it has been missing from my life for way too long a time. Maybe because it reminds me of my past and those that I have lost. Other members of the congregation must wonder why I am so mushy.

If I do not get the chance to share it before the 25th, I wish everyone who reads my weird little blog a very Merry Christmas and may your New Year be blessed with happiness and joy.

~*Kel