Donwannago

Yep..we all have these days..no matter what job, or whoever you are. It does not mean I will stay home, it just means I wish I could. As usual I will buck it up and slap on the uniform and do it. A single persons paycheck is just that. I have no ghost here bringing in more money, lol. What I do have is a mad cat who gets angry when I go to work. Just adds to the guilt and the "donwanngo's."

And really, what else is there to do? If I stay home it will be just me, the computer and time. That is getting old too. Can anyone else say "BLAH?" I have a worker bee's life and a want to be leisurely dream, so no matter the wanting, it's off to work I go. Unfortunately, No Sugar Daddies in sight, lmao. No lottery wins either. Somebody needs to check the record, I am sure I was meant to be rich in more than a sarcastic sense of humor.

~*k

Metamorphosis of a Romantic Heart

Since my days of youth I have been that person who sees the rosy, romantic vision of love. . I believed in Love Ever After, Amen. Through 30 years as an adult I held onto that view despite a long marriage ending and the trials and tribulations of my recent past relationship.

These past couple of days have been filled with quiet alone time, resting, thinking and keeping up with the apartment. That leaves me a lot of time for self- introspection, and I have been flipping this particular thought around for the past 24 hours or so. Lol, I wonder sometimes if others while pushing a mop and swiping spend the time doing the same, or am I a freak of nature.? ( don't worry, the music was playing, I was also Dancing to the Chores, coming to a crappy network soon, be sure to watch.)

I think that this past year has forever changed who I used to be. Funny that I could hold onto romanticism for so long and lose it now. Crawling out of my silken cocoon, I am emerging as an awakened butterfly, but a pragmatic one. Furling my wings, testing the wind, and despite being born to play among the flowers, I no longer believe that Love is meant to last forever. I do wonder that if I had waited 9 years ago if I would still be the Caterpillar, smiling with thoughts of true romance, dreaming and sighing my life along.

Soul mates, another concept that I clung to, recklessly in fact. That particular idea is what shushed the loud intuitions being yelled out by my own heart. What I believe now is that there are a select few who are fortunate enough to find the right person, the other side of themselves. It's a big damn world, and there are no clues pointing the way to find that person. So fate plays a huge role. I do envy them, those lucky ones. I do not believe it can be forced to happen. Nor do I believe that doing things the wrong way will lead you to success, absolutely not. Why should fate reward someone who hurts to get what they want? So maybe there is a smidgen of romanticism left in me, just not towards my own love life. I wish those select people a world of happiness.

Rainbow colors, quivering wings..taking flight..those red blooms look like a nice place to settle for a while. And sorry for a continuing theme...I am still thinking on it..obviously.

hugs,

k

1-26-2016--It has been 4 years or longer since I wrote the above blog entry. I have not attempted nor been tempted to enter into a relationship again. I have decided that friendship is a good thing, but romance is not such a good thing. I won't allow my heart to be broken again. It's all good, that is one less worry in my life.
~KA*

Intuition

Months have passed, time has mellowed that bitter pill I swallowed in placing faith where there was not solid ground to support it. I know we all live and learn. (I just wish I had been paying attention in class. ) Word of advice to my readers...trust your intuition..especially if you are a woman. I ignored mine for a damn long time, and it cost me dearly. Because I Loved and wanted Love in return so badly I blinded myself. My love was real. I will never know if his was or not.

It is never too late to start over again, though I had and still have some resentment to losing so much time, But that was My own fault. Dreams are wonderful things, but not when they blind us to reality. My promise to myself after all that has passed? To believe in me, to listen to my heart, face life with my eyes open, and to not cling to impossible dreams.

The trust issue? I think that will depend on the next man who might offer his heart to me. No two people are the same. Faith, faithfulness and honesty come from a place inside us, either we have it or we don't. If this 'maybe man' has those qualities..there will never be a whisper of mistrust. It's not always the negative side for which intuition sends it's gentle nudges. I plan to trust MY intuition. It has never failed me, I just failed to listen because it was too painful to face the truth.

~*k

Lucky You

(Laughing!) No, I am not trying to start something, nor am I declaring my readers to be lucky to be gazing upon these words. Lucky You is a band out of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania that played at the Casino last night. One of the perks ( or annoyances depending on the band) of my job is that every Friday and Saturday night I am posted at the new lounge. Standing on the sidelines I am one of the team in blue for security, there to stop trouble before it starts..yes that means folks who have had enough alcohol.

Sometimes we get our eardrums assaulted, sometimes we get to smile over what passes for dancing for some people. ( I know I saw an Elvis Costello wanna be last night..who appeared to be doing what a 5 year old does with a broom, pretending it is a horse and galloping across the dance floor.) Occasionally we get to listen to excellent music and do our jobs at the same time, and last night was one of those nights. ( though I must say, radio traffic is really a B**** whether we are transmitting or receiving-we stand almost on top of the bands amps.(my eardrums tickle when someone talks, it's that loud.)

If they ever post that this band is playing in your area go, just go..you'll have a great time. They play a little of something for everyone's taste. There were plenty of times last night that I was wishing I was out there dancing too. I think I have forgotten what that is like having only danced once or twice at weddings for the last 10 years.

My horizons broaden as the talent comes in, and I will be sure to let you all know if the weekend bands are worth the drive. As I am still getting to know the groups, I have not too much more to add. Just remember if you come to the Casino, be smart...limit your drinking. It really kills an evening if one person in your party has too much and everyone has to go home with them. I know, I spend half my time saying sorry to the family and friends who have to pack up when one person does not maintain.

It was a wild and crazy night...we rocked all night long, and I am not talking about just the band. Saturdays will keep you hopping. I've posted a link to one of the web sites listed for them below.

Hugs,

k

PS: this 'young at heart' just joined their fan club...lol.

http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_3397274

Hanging in there

Still hanging in there after a fast paced Friday night as a Dual Rate Supervisor. I was luckily set with one of my managers to tag along getting experience, she's pretty cool. But the hustle was causing me to melt, literally a soaking wet head. There really is very little sitting down on this job on weekend nights, not that I ever expected it to. But when you sit for 1 minute and start to write a report, and have to get right back up and run to another hot spot, it's hard.

I would love to have some sincere computer time to drum in the ins and outs of how they pull up and set up the report writing. Three minutes here and there are not consistent enough to get them set in my brain, I need some repetitiveness to get acclimated to getting a report down with speed and accuracy.

I made it a little further tonight before the solid inside aches began yelling at me. Hopefully the pace we are working will quickly whip me back into shape. ( or I'll pass out while trying, lol.) There really is no other option if I want to keep my job.

Wishing all a good day,

k

Stop that Train!

Stop that Train, the one that hit me..because that is what it feels like.( hey, I know..drama..let's just say it clipped my right side.) It's not really tiredness, though that is present, I have dealt with that before. Nope, it's the inside of my body asking me what the hell was I thinking! I moved at half normal speed today, still got my jobs done in good time. A little over the half way point of the shift the aching started...and progressed...and made it's presence fully known about 1 hour before quitting time.

Somehow somebody got something wrong..take out an organ that your body normally uses..leave a hole where it used to be inside..and expect that one week is enough recovery time. I think it is more in the line of what insurance companies feel is enough time, not doctors. Someone at the other end of the phone spinning a wheel and deciding just how much time a body needs before it is recovered. I'd like to file a complaint, please.

I am so trying to do this without any more of the higher quality pain meds. Ibruprofen worked for most of the shift, but failed to diminish the larger internal aches. I guess it will be me hoping that this too shall pass, it will take a few more weeks before I am up to top speed again.

No problem sleeping today...none that I can foresee anyway. Zzzzzzz.

Hugs,

k

Set to return

Returning to my previous life before surgical interruption tonight. Am I ready? Not sure, the stamina is really not there yet. I am definitely lacking in some zip and wonder how sick that is going to make me feel when I start sweating once on the floor. I guess I shall have to plow through it, since allowances for weakness are not permitted at work, no favors generally given for those who have been out sick, either you are ready or you are not.

I'll post a progress report tomorrow morning, if I can stay awake..lol.

wishing for luck,

k

****

Did not quite make it, hopefully better luck tonight. 9/22

Homesick at Home

This might come off a little strange ( I will explain) but I am feeling homesick after returning home from dropping Mel off today.( told ya) It's not a place, it's a person. Her stay with me, despite me being uncomfortably post op, was one of joy in having a favorite person of mine with me again. No nights or days killing time till I was at work again. And I miss her already.

January 2011...was when I was forced to become solitary and on my own. Not only did I lose a lover, I was also thrown in the trash as a friend. r and I did everything together, but whether or not he appreciated the quiet companionship in the evenings after work with me, I did. It did not matter to me what we did together, I believed we shared good times, his friendship was a huge part of my life for a long time. Obviously he felt he was trapped in some sort of boring land with me for company. Too bad, but that is another story, and one already told on the other blog.

What I am trying to say is that though I am not a big crowds kind of girl, I appreciate friendship and togetherness. I've had more than my share of being alone since my toss out of Ford Circle. My heart and my mind definitely need more than that. Being alone too much is simply Not Good for Me. I've done my prison time, it's time for a break out of jail for Kelly. Going to your room, closing the door, and having quiet time for yourself is one thing. Not having to close a single door for quiet time really gets to you.

I arrived home after a way too long round trip to Fredericksburg (traffic sucks!!) to open the door back onto loneliness again. I did not realize how quickly I became accustomed to Mel's company until I stepped into the quiet again. Probably a good thing I did not get this weepy while dropping her off at her home, I know she has missed her grandbabies and Charles Town is at least 2.5 hours away from them. Though I wish I could kidnap her she is not ready for it yet, and I understand. Just as I will never (unless there is a ton of money involved in my favor) ever move back down there. Just driving down 81 headed north I breathed deep..smelled the grass, the dirt, saw the puffy clouds in the blue sky and felt like I was headed home.

The 95 corridor, with all it's sprawl (r's word for it) it's heavy traffic, and stress..so not me anymore. I may have been lured up here for my move money, but it has become home for me as well. Granted I do not have the 'good' memories that r has, but it has become so much more appealing than that area ever was. I've always been a 'country girl' at heart. (moving to So.Calif.was damn hard for me at age 16)

It occurred to me while driving north on 17 to drive by the old places we had lived..and Nah. I did not want to revisit them, even to see the differences of today. When I lived there and tolerated it was when my life was part of a couple. Without being part of that still, it was my past, and better to not divert to peek at something that is forever gone now. (though I did ALMOST stop at Pancho Villa..sigh..passed that by too...miss that yummy place.)

Mostly I would like to share my undying thanks to Mel for sharing herself with me for the last 8 days. I know she was missed by her family, and hopefully they all appreciate her that much more for being without her for a while. Jaydin thanked me via phone for returning his GrandMom. ( I am such a grandmom thief!) And Samiyah was adorable to meet for the second time..last time she was much younger, they grow up very fast.

If I whine for a blog or two..please forgive me...this lifestyle is still not of my choosing. It has to be healthier for me to have more than work in my life, I need companionship. (not talking about a love affair..I'm talking about a friend.) I feel unfinished when I am always alone, on the treadmill running to nowhere, and biding my time in limbo-land. I think the other visits I have had from family and friends have been of such a short duration that I did not have a chance to get used to it again. This time I did.

Hugs..love to all

so where is my 'get out of jail free card anyway?

k

A Lazy Rainy Day

Today was supposed to be sunny and cooler, but I guess the weatherman forgot to consult God about that and He chose to paint the day with raindrops. I woke early, my body said to "Get Up!' for the necessity and for something to lower my pain level to reasonable. We were also supposed to have my 'Yard sale' today, things stored at a friend's place who was also a neighbor of mine at the old house. Her spouse's schedule changed, the weather went to wet, so those plans fell through. Not sure when I will be able to try again, since Saturdays are always normal work days for me. Perhaps when the belly is ready I will fetch the totes and attempt a yard sale here, on my very small patch of green that passes for a yard. Most of the items are fall and winter holiday decor, and now is the time to sell.

I guess that will settle the ex's nerves, since I did forewarn him of my impending neighborhood visit, so he would not suddenly see my car and think I was there to do something naughty or invasive. ( if he fails to check my blogs then he will spend the day thinking I will be next door-too bad.)

I was also sort of hoping I could catch a glimpse of my furry kids left at the house, I really miss them, not a day passes where they do not cross my mind. I love you Jasper, Raz and Pumpkin...it would have been so nice to live somewhere that you All could have been allowed. Gilly misses you too. I'd fight for visitation rights, but it hurt so damn much taking Raz back that I think it would be harder on me and definitely confusing as hell to the poor cats. However, fair warning...if I discover, from my friends still on Ford circle, that they are Not being well cared for, I will butt in. That is Regardless to their confusion, Your rules or the apartment rules. I don't care how You or the house are doing, but I do love them.

Not much planned otherwise for today, Melinda helped out yesterday with the cleaning and laundry. Movies, books and puter time are the plan at this time. I am fretting a bit on how my body will be feeling on return to work since I do have a pretty active job. I guess that is a wait and see situation though, no sense stressing about something I cannot control.

Hugs to all, hope you enjoy your Lazy day as well.

k

Mule Kicked

If anyone can catch the mule that kicked me in the belly please give it a good whack for me. Maybe it's because I am trying to take less of the pain meds, but I surely feel like a mule caught me a good one since I awoke this morning. Dang, my innards are on pissed off mode, mad as hell about someone messing with them, cutting, removing parts and cauterizing. The sutures and staples itch, and underneath it, very angry for being tampered with, is my body.

I've tried to apologize but it has not done anything to change the current condition.

Maybe I need a mediator. Peace talks with my Liver who is missing his pal Mr Gallbladder.

Anything.

have a good night,

k

Recuperating and a happy cat

Recuperating..that means some walking, some sitting, and not a lot of chores..I am not allowed to, the caretaker/best bud says No!!...lol. I am still sore, I guess you cannot hurry your body, just help it along. It's been so nice having Mel here, perhaps a preview of our lives in the future. I get some excellent company and the chance to cook for someone who appreciates the effort and the tastiness..and she gets a vacation to sleep in, some yummy food, and all the book reading and movie watching she wants. Yes, we are not living it up, there is no cash for that, and frankly I would poop out too soon. But we are definitely enjoying each others company. I know I will miss her when she has to leave. It's been so nice having someone to talk to and share my space with.

Gilly did the unpredicted...less than 6 hours after her arrival here he was chumming it up and giving head butts and leg rubs. I was surprised how quickly he accepted Mel, but I guess I shouldn't have, she is a cat person herself. It took other friends much longer, and since it has been awhile since their last visits they will have to start over again. Gil has been cat smiling all week with the extra company and lots of pets. No Mommy leaving for work and spending 8 hours alone, followed by me having to go to sleep shortly after returning home.

Follow-up doctor appointment for the staple/suture removal will be Tuesday, he is in surgery all day Mondays. That means my return to work won't be till Wednesday if I pass inspection that is. ( I don't think there will be any issues) I cannot return to work after surgery and Family Medical Leave without a doctor's note stating it is ok to return to duty. And the casino wants the words "all duties with no limitations." I still hope I get a day or so in Control. I know I am going to wipe out quickly getting adjusted to being at work again. But it won't be long before I am up to full speed again.

Well hugs to you all..our big day today will be hitting the dollar store and perusing Good Will..told you, no play money here. But it is a day spent with Mel and that makes it special for me.

Hope everyone is well.

k

A Heartfelt Thank you!

Dear Dad,

Thank you, thank you so very much for the warm greetings that arrived today. Beautiful roses, a sweet teddy bear and a small box of chocolates.(-which I am saving) It absolutely made my day so much better. I believe that the only flowers I have received that were roses in the last 10 years were from you, and I adore getting flowers. I wish I could send a hug long distance, but since I cannot, I have taken a few pictures to show you how beautiful the roses look, and that I divided them and placed them throughout the apartment!

(Since I am not sure if you ever read my blog or not I will likely post these pictures on Facebook as well.)

Getting ready for a nap, a recent habit due to the surgery, but one that You perfected long before me. I believe I over did it Monday/Tuesday and I fell asleep several times during a movie I had been waiting to see for a long time, lol. (Thor) Melinda had to shoo me off to bed, where I stayed for 8 hours only waking up for pain pills at 0330 a.m.

So today I am listening to my body and resting more than I did. I just wanted to be mobile again, I have memories of my previous surgery and being trapped in bed/upstairs for several weeks to fall back on. Granted these incisions are smaller, and there are 4 of them, but I believe they will heal with little scaring. Bending is an issue just yet, so I getting those deep knee bends in. and being fussed at by Melinda.

For the curious I have also included some slightly gross pictures..if you have ever wondered what a gallbladder looks like, and what stones look like, they will be on the bottom of the page. If you are squeamish just don't look at the bottom of the page, lol.

I believe I shall name the bear you sent "Giles", a right proper Brit name, and a family name to boot. (also one I never pronounce correctly..hahah!) Thanks Dad..big hugs...you are one in a million, and please, do not fret. It does not matter that you cannot fight my battles for me, I am a grown woman, and we are both in similar boats. But it does mean so very much that you wish you could. I appreciate that more than I can ever express. Love you Daddy.

kel

The 'Yucky' stuff--the small white things in the photo to the right are stones, and there were a lot of them. The brown is bile released after the gallbladder was cut open.

Oh Geez, Please

Not a big entry, just letting All know I am home, doped up, and still in pain.

Was I good patient? For the most part, until coming out of general anesthesia that is. I have never dealt well with that in the past, and did not today either. Because the pain level was sitting at a 10 and was not simmering down at all, I was swearing and cranky as hell. I later apologized to the nurse, who told me during my colorful description of my pain,( and fear that the doctor was not going to send me home with anything to help-his track record) that language of this kind was not appreciated. Umm...none had been directed at her, but I took her hand and sincerely apologized later. That was when she mentioned general anesthesia and how some people react...duh.

I had waited an additional 3 hours to begin, there were 2 emergency surgeries that came before mine. Twilight anesthesia was not possible ( and I was so damned disappointed) because of the location of the incisions. There was a lovely parting gift of two colorful pictures, one of the gallbladder whole, one after it was cut open. Errr..gross..but there were lots of stones spilled over and coming out on picture #2. I shuffled around the floor, passed Go, and was then free to leave.

I am really hoping that I will heal quickly and be bad to my old self (minus pain) in short time.

For the moment Percocet is my friend. Melinda has been an angel, and even managed to get my car from the parking lot to the hospital exit without incident. This was done with only verbal instruction, and I gave her a Big thumbs up for her success. A block away from the hospital I had to take over, she was not ready for city traffic. Was not supposed to do this, but it had to be done, and we both survived the trip to the pharmacy and return home.

Hugs to all, thank you for the well wishes.

k

Approaching Lift Off

One more day of work, then 24 hours till the rockets blast my gallbladder out of my body...lol.

After I get off work on Sunday morning I shall be scooting to Fredericksburg to get Mel and back here..visiting and counting hours till 0630 a.m on Monday. Not sure how my body will react to being gallbladder-less, but I guess I shall find out. Not planning much for Tuesday, a lot will depend on doctor's orders. But I hope we get out and drive around some, window shop, pick up some movies during our week together.

I did not blog about it, ( because I was incredibly upset and frothing at the mouth) but yesterday morning was me doing my version of a bomb blast. I duly called Doctor's office and Unum as directed to tell them last day of work. In the process of that, Unum decided to tell me they had not received the proper paperwork and FMLA( Family Medical Leave) would be denied. Oh..yeah...I went ballistic, a shooting rocket in a desk chair. After weeks of me playing phone tag, taking paperwork to doctor's office, and following up that everyone had what was needed, they declared war on my continued employment. How? Call out's are points at my job. I am currently in the black, negative points, very good. However, calling out for 5 days, and several of them weekend days which are doubled, and that would have put me on the brink of being fired. I was not a cursing ninny, but you better believe I got my point across pointedly and with a growled undertone. I was seriously pissed off.

I stayed up way too late, and had explained to them that I had to sleep prior to working last night...called them back twice before crashing...and when did they call me back? At 2 pm when I was snoring.

" We need to have a conference call" was on my voice mail when I woke up. (again cursing)

Following that a message from my Dad with advice on how to deal with Unum. And lastly a phone call from Unum stating "Oh Gee! We found the missing paperwork on the fax machine that came over at 10:30 a.m. That was 3 hours prior to when I was still battling them.

Please explain to me why a benefit which does NOTHING but insure that you still have a job to come back to would jerk people around as much as they do??? The short term disability was separate and had received all the correct paperwork. It was the simple and needed word

"FMLA" that my work needed to excuse my absence. What possible profit would they have in denying me an excused absence???? Who makes the big bucks when they deny? And why is it that it all has to be so complicated and buried in paperwork? Why can an employer not simply have a doctor's note stating that time off is required for surgery to be sufficient to keep your job?

Bureaucracies are a bunch of people placed together to guarantee that no one can understand what the procedures are without them defining it, their controlling it, and then dealing their version of justice. All very unnecessary, just something to battle over when you already feel like poop. I so needed that additional stress yesterday, yes indeed. Top that with the doctor not renewing my pain meds, and it has been a fun week. So this is why I am celebrating the removal of my gallbladder so to speak, it's an end to pain in many ways.

Catch you all likely Tuesday when all is finished,

the wounded warrior,

k

Tick Tock,,OUCH!

Damn it! I am fed up with the gallstones, I really am. I have faithfully not eaten or drank anything that might excaberate my condition, and it's NOT working. Plus, after weeks of playing phone tag with both Unum and the doctor's office, I finally found out the completed paperwork has been received by the provider....whether or not Unum approves it won't be determined until after the actual surgery, and that scares me. If they deny it will seriously mess up my status with call-outs and pointing at work. I have room, I know I do..but why hurt my stats with something that I cannot control? Have I ever mentioned I hate paperwork that has to deal with myself? It's frustrating as hell. I've had jobs where Human resources handled it for you for the most part. I miss that.

Five more days, just five and this will be resolved. Gee..then it's back to the battle of over-due taxes. I need a vacation from bills...sigh..it would be so nice. Sitting back, looking at my desk, and knowing that only the regularly scheduled bills need to be handled..miss that too. I have been buried in red tape since January of this year. Sometimes I can picture myself sitting in my chair with a whirlwind of papers zipping around my head, ducking and dodging paper cuts, trying to bat them away.

One very good thing that is quickly approaching is Mel's visit. We had planned some off time to just hang out, but she will be the lucky lady who gets to pick up my butt post-op. I want you to know Mel how much I appreciate that. I have never felt so alone as I did the day I had to call 911...there was no one who could help me, and rolling on the floor in pain sort of dismisses the ability for cognitive thinking.( plus increases the fear factor x100.) Having you here will be like a gift.

I am sure there will be plenty of times that being alone gets to me..family holidays, birthdays, etc. For the most part I am ok with it, but it does sort of make you feel very isolated and out of touch with the rest of the world. Holidays are especially meaningful to me, and it's going to hurt sitting here alone. ( and I am not cooking a turkey for Gilly cat and me) I'll probably work just to take my mind off of it. I am grateful to have a job, but it exasperates me just how many people celebrate the holidays by gambling. I know it insures a continued job..but it also makes a clear and disturbing statement about life today. What happened to family? Some of the casino's busiest times are the 3 days prior to and including Christmas. Church anyone??

I'm still sitting here hurting and wondering when the doctor's office will ever return my call. I know if it does get worse, it will mean yet another ER bill. That will make 3 on this pleasant and delightful gallstone journey. (Damn it-again!)

Hope that everyone has a good week and weekend ahead. Wish me luck, I could use some.

hugs, k

Sorry for the gloomy entry-too many gray days and no sunshine baths on my porch, plus the stupid gallstones that keep me in pain. I know, I know..wah-wah!...sorry about that. As Monty Python would say " Sorry, I must have a cold."--the excuse for everything per Python.

Whooped

Whooped, as in past tired and approaching coma status, so I am off to bed soon. It was super busy, Saturdays always are, but adding the holiday weekend, and more people take the night to go out, since they have extra time on Monday. Labor Day...work day...lol. Well I celebrated with laboring, so I guess I am in the spirit of the holiday.
 Happy Birthday to my niece Michelle. I can still remember a chubby cheeked baby doing her best to eat an apple with not too many teeth, hiding under the chair in my kitchen.  The Christmas you spent with me, and the Halloweens we marched around the neighborhood, all wonderful memories for this 'ol Aunt K'.  Has it really been so long? dang...
  Off to bed..hope that everyone who actually "does" have a three day weekend has a good one.

hugs,
k

With a flourish..another dance

What a wild night, which sped by for the most part, as the music throbbed and my ears rang. Spent at least the first 4 hours of my night parked strategically on the balcony at the new Lounge along with my fellow officers in blue. We are well dressed and very polite bouncers, eyeing the mass party below. I did get my first walk out alone with a buddy tagging along, and the guest was a hoot. He chortled and heehawed up 4 levels in the elevator, laughing so long and hard that the rest of the folks in their with us either smiled or raised their eyebrows high. What set him to snorting? Another guest mentioned how safe he felt with two security officers in the elevator with him...He thought that was hilarious...you had to be there I guess.

I have a lot still to learn, everyday brings new experience. Tonight I walked in the door and was handed a Medical to cover in the first 3 seconds of my shift. Wrote that report up and headed to the lounge for find the might be drunk coverage. I also did supe on the slot pull the last 3 hours. Tomorrow will be another long one as well, but since I do not know when I will be able to be in blue again for 4 days in a row, I am not complaining, it pays well.

Tonight I was given my first evaluation since last September and it was very good. (Mucho Gracias!) I also received a raise that I did not expect to see.(no-you cannot have it back!) And yes..I did my happy dance..several times..lol..and was caught dancing by one of the Poker room managers who started to chuckle as he walked up behind me.

It feels excellent to be working hard and smiling as I go!! I needed this challenge and appreciate the chance to grow. And now..to bed..I'm pooped....zzzz

Hugs to all,

k

First Night

Trial by fire..ready or not..there I went, lol. My first night as a dual rate supervisor was a little bit of everything, some work on my own, a bit of paperwork, and some shadowing. Definitely a little wobbly legged this morning. There is a huge amount of running to and fro, and the casino is not small. I think I took the steps more last night than I have in a month of being a roving guard. I fear what is left of my ass will shortly disappear. ( if it would not scoot to the front I would not mind so much.) Knees, thighs, and feet felt it by 5 am, with two hours left to go.

I have a greater respect of what the supervisors go through in a normal night now, and that is not counting Friday or Saturday nights. After running all over they also have to find computer time to enter each report, document each Walk out, and field further calls.

I will say I shared my smile to all tonight, it felt good to be moving ahead and learning new skills.

A great deal of what I will be dealing calls for 'people skills.' I also noticed a common trend in Walk outs for too much alcohol...they repeat themselves constantly, swing from one emotion to the next..always want to know what they have done wrong, and ultimately get angry. I guess if I was in their shoes I would likely feel the same. No one expects a night of gambling to end with the management showing them the door, and most people are going to be unfamiliar with State codes and regulations. One exception: We had a bartender from Virginia in a group walk out the other night, and he was quite aware of what the individual states set forth as the rules. Of course, the rest of his group remained unhappy despite his verifying the truth.

Well tonight will be another night in blue, 10 hours to boot, so I won't be long on the computer this morning. Short sleep last night, restless and achy, likely the weather. Sucks feeling your age at times. But you know what? Everyone ages differently, I look at people younger than me by more than a few years and realize that I am looking and feeling pretty good for my numbers.

My job helps keep me young with the constant activity,and my face shows no abundance of wrinkles just some faint laugh lines. (It is the inside parts..damn gallbladder! which are giving me a fit right now..but again, I am not alone and it strikes people of all ages, so I don't think that counts.) The rest of my interior seems to be doing just fine..cardiac, respiratory, etc. Most people when guessing my age place me about 5-6 years younger than my actual age.

Will yack more later as I share my experiences with you. Still then..Zzzzzzzz

Hugs,

k