"Spring" in our steps

Such a nice day...I always enjoy walking around and checking out a new town, and Shepardstown, WV was beautiful. Spring blooms, flowering trees, graceful old buildings...and a good friend to share the day with. The weather started out growly, we had a few thunderstorms pass through, but just as we arrived the rain died and the sunshine popped out.

Explored an old general store (a bit pricey for us, but still cool to discover) some small boutiques(ah-ah-ah..look but don't touch!) and stopped into the visitor center to catch a little history of the town.
I did do some of the tourist thing with my cell camera, but I was really taking more than a few shots of Spring in action. We hope to go back someday and explore some more. And maybe I can drag Mel off to Pennsylvania to my favorite stomping ground, Lancaster county.

Our free meal ( except for the tip) at the Epic was very tasty..always tastes better when it is free, lol. I still have a dinner for two in the Skyline Terrace to use before the end of June.(award prize) I just might get lucky and snag my bud to visit up this way again in a few months.

I have to say, spending months mostly alone during my off hours makes me appreciate the company that much more. Thank you Mel for a great weekend.

Hugs, K

Jazzed!

Oh boy, I'm excited that my 4 day weekend has arrived and Mel will shortly be visiting!
To some it may seem silly that I get a happy like this, but seriously she is my best friend, and my weekends are usually routine with chores and internet time. This will be like a mini-vacation for us both.

In other news my crazy patron was back today..the one that screamed at me last week about people stealing from her. Sadly today I found out she is a local. (sigh....dang) This time she maintained herself but still listed a litany of things gone missing at the casino on several different visits, and poor Julie got to listen to the rest.
If there was anything truly missing she would not dodge the assistance I offered her last time, namely a supervisor report and investigation. She left things at a chair and walked away..essentially abandoning them. One item was something she misplaced..and the other was a bracelet paid for ($10) which she believed would be 14 K gold. Today she confirmed that we are only one of her targets, she calls the other ones.
I felt I should ask her if she was also missing her medication, but bit my tongue and kept that to myself.

Have a good week...I'm smiling and ready for mine,
k

A smile and a wink

For all those that think a calender says everything there is to say about someone's age? Twice in the past week, from separate people, in different conversations..I have had someone tell me what they believe my age to be.(they were quite serious-not intending flattery) One placed me in my early 40's, tonight 38.  Oh yeah..I smiled.

You age haters? Come talk to me when you reach my age. It will be interesting to see what living has blessed you with,... or not.

k

Death and Taxes

Death and Taxes, both inevitable, neither pleasant to dwell upon, and unfortunately unavoidable. As previously mentioned I am now making scheduled payments to the Feds-IRS for monies owed. (That was a mistake made on my part in trusting the wrong person, and wanting to 'fix' things so that as a couple we could make it financially. That cookie crumbled, I blew it using my 401K before it and I had matured, and I am being penalized for both.) West Virginia? Those folks think I have buried gold in my backyard--if I had one.
So..tonight I had to pull out chunks of hair and sit and file Virginia State taxes from 2005/2006. Why? Because West Virginia does not believe I have not lived here for many years and have decided I owed them much more than my tax mistake on the 401K from 2009.

I am really not sure why everyone thinks I am secretly rich. If they had to live on my budget they would quickly learn otherwise. I can almost positively guarantee that they ALL make a salary that makes mine look like leftover peanuts from the big game. Eh..so much for my bitching. I really just want it to all go away, however my continued licensing for the  WV Lottery requires that I do pay attention and flip papers, curse, and of course, stomp and snort..while trying to clean all this mess up.

Now that everything is at last in the mail, I get to live in dread of communication from the state of Virginia. Yep....just another bill I can sit and stare at. I think this night of bureaucratic nonsense deserves a shot of whiskey...I have earned it. Maybe two.

Other than the above unpleasantness, I got quite a bit done this short weekend. Looking forward to my reward on Tuesday. My patio is prepped for summer and my place is clean.( well, at least until Gilly decides to redecorate in his own way.) Have a good 'real' weekend to the 9-5'ers. My work week will be short and sweet.

G'night
k

Beautiful Day

A glorious spring day to be blessed with, and I am thankful. Getting my little patio prepared for sitting and enjoying. I splurged and purchased some potting soil and 2 plants to get me started for summer. The Dianthus and miniature snapdragons are hardy and heat resistant, and what I have planned for my pots this summer.(and cheap!) I used dollar store seeds for my big pot, Impatiens, and I will wait to see what sprouts. If they fail (which I hope they do not) I will find a suitably cheap replacement. I did find a week ago some hangers, and I am considering what sort of plants I will be using. Dollar store again, the three of them cost me $3. I will need to enlist Julie and her mighty drill to get them up.

My one veggie plant this summer will be a hanging cherry tomato. That was purchased for a school booster from someone at work. Not sure when it will arrive. It is likely that they will not send it out until the threat of cooler weather is over. Ha! Cooler weather. This has been the warmest east coast winter I have ever experienced. That sort of makes me leery regarding summertime, and that is a wait and see.

I still miss my spring bulbs, someone else is enjoying my efforts now. I never even got to see them bloom.
Again it is a 'someday' sort of thing, someday being when I can actually have a real garden again and not just pots and hanging plants. Where and when that will be is the Million dollar question. But I live in hope that I will have a place to play in the dirt once again.

I hope that everyone is enjoying this day as much as I am. Happy Springtime to All.

k

Duly and Gratefully Awarded

The awards lunch? Very nice, the Epic serves up some very tasty eats. Along with many others from Security I received my award, we totally dominated the luncheon. I am now the happy recipient a dinner for two at the Terrace Dining room that over looks the racetrack, some needed cash, and a month long parking pass which I shall give away to a fellow officer at some point in the future. I finally found out what the nomination was for, the role I played in a serious medical situation. Honestly, I don't feel that I did anything spectacular, or at least nothing more than I do for any other medical we have. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful and happy to be recognized, but I did nothing extraordinary, as some others actually have done.

I am re-certified for CPR once again, and the knowledge is a gift as well, though none of us ever hope to be in a position to use it, it is something that everyone should know how to do.I was so tired last night that I was loopy singing "Show me the way to go home" on the service level, and yes, I did belt it out. My Friday was 13 hrs long, and silly is what I get when I am that tired. Brought a few smiles to others, always a good thing.

Laundry is fluffing away, Gilly is pouting, and I am sleepy but glad I have a couple of days before return to work. ( somebody washed something truly nasty! in a big load sitting in the first dryer. It will be a long damn time before I use that dryer again..EWW!)

Have a good night,
k 

Midweek bits

In the middle of a killer week, hoping my tail is not dragging by the end of it. I am working an additional 13 hrs this week, due to need at work, required training, awards and of course, my empty pocket book. I have come to an agreement with the Feds over my owed taxes, and will be on a payment program that I hope to be able to handle. Still working on the state taxes. (they are unreasonably ridiculous, I went from $933 owed to $6000 owed...and yes, I was cursing.)

My other debt? It is still there. I cannot pay one of them without running out of budgeted bill money. Yes, they still call me everyday. I am not really bitching about it, there is nothing I can do, and it has all become routine and most of the time I am numb to it. Maybe someday my ship will come in and bring with it a means of becoming solvent again, or maybe not. I have never been a fortune teller when it comes to myself. I can remain hopeful that all will be resolved in time.

I am still enjoying my new responsibilities at work, it feels like the right niche for me. I have a decent schedule, and work enough OT to help myself out. Looking forward to visits at home and away in the near future.
Spring is definitely arrived, and I love seeing the flowers bursting forth on the trees. Wishing all a good week ahead.

k

Life Savers

Just a quick note, it has been what feels like a long week, or at least my tootsies tell me so. Next week will be extra long with an additional day plus CPR before work on Tuesday. I am in the final countdown for Mel's visit up here, that is sure to pull me through the week ahead. I am happy that on this visit I am not in recovery from surgery, and will get us out of the apartment and exploring some local areas.  She was a friend indeed last September when I really needed her help, so this trip will be about having some fun!

I was called to the office today (and you have to know...it feels like a call to the principal's office in school)
I was sure I had done some minor infraction.....it happens. Instead I received an invitation to an Excellence Awards luncheon for next week before work. (yah! free food! Booo! a silly picture) I have not a clue who nominated me, but it is flattering. It is very nice to be recognized for hard work and good customer relations.
I will have to wait till Wednesday to find out who it was. I understand they have to write a speech and present it at the luncheon. Lol..I can feel myself turning red already.

CPR class is next week..my 18th class of this type I believe. Every year I worked at the Hospital in Prince Frederick it was required, and also with this job. We actually have had staff perform needed CPR on guests at this job. One of our supervisors quick CPR saved a guests life not long ago. At the hospital it was a given that a nurse or a doctor would be near for emergencies of this sort. It is a fact that with as many guests as we have per week that not all of them will be in the prime of health. There have been several occasions where someone's life was saved by staff and our First Responders. (EMT's on staff) There is usually a very heartfelt letter and thanks sent to the casino following those incidents. Security...we do it all. And in case you have ever wondered..WE ROCK! Nobody hustles like we do. In a 9.5 hour work shift, Swing shift kicks butt almost everyday.

I will fill you in on the particulars next week. Wishing everyone a great week ahead.
Oh..and take a CPR class...the person you save may be some you love.

hugs,
K

Who are we anyway?

Gone are the days of loneliness, I am enjoying my time alone now. I have no further regrets, nor
do I wish things had been different.  For the most part I believe that this was meant to be, whether it started for selfish reasons or not, it ended, I've accepted, and this is a new time for me. A roommate someday? Yes, of course, because we are very much like sisters, and I think it will work well for us both, being siblings without the conflict that usually comes with it, we are best friends. It sometimes seems though, in today's world, when two people of the same sex live together they get tagged as homosexuals. I think this is very funny  because not so long ago, if a man and woman roomed together no one would ever believe it was platonic.  Why does everyone feel the need to make everything that everyone does something sexual?

I work with several bosses, male and female. Both of the females are lesbians, and are happy in their relationships. I get frequently razzed by one, just as men do...with  her sexual innuendos. I know she means nothing serious by her flirtations,(she loves her wife) but I do worry for her if anyone found out she did so.( and I have tried to warn her that not everyone would laugh and give her hell right back.)  Everything else is overload on political correctness, and I am surprised that my work does not have the same programs as my other employers had regarding improper remarks made at work. ( though, any company that places scantily clad females dancing in a table pit would be hard to defend itself as not being sexually oriented.)

There was also an assumption made, by one male employee, that since I was not in a couple I must be gay. (Really? Good grief. Don't label me. That pisses me off.) Then after learning I was not a lesbian he nicely hit on me. I was flattered, he is a handsome man, but he is MARRIED. After being in the wrong place for so long, and having that table turned on me, I would not do it, not in a million years. I politely declined, and explained why. Having been the one cheated on for years, I would not do that to another woman, no matter the reason..( because I have already been in that place.) Know what? He respected that. No hard feelings for either of us. We still flirt with each other once in a while.

When the time is right I will know it. Despite my situation I am not drawn to women. They are friends and that is all they will ever be. I know men have issues that all women have to deal with. I am only and have only been attracted to men, no latent bi-sexuality. I know that seems to be the thing, and a lot of young people seem to lean that way, but I am not following a fad..whether it is unnecessary tattoos, piercings, or sex. I like to find my own way in life, and not someone else's. Being part of a huge group who all do the same thing does Not make you an individual. It makes you a Lemming, swimming with the rest.

To those that like to give others labels..get a life, and keep out of mine. As far as I am concerned I don't fit into a box marked and recorded as being one particular thing. I am not old,  I am no longer angry, I am happy with who I am, and  I am not gay because I am not in a couple. The only one who has the right to give me a moniker is me. All others will be dismissed as so much balderdash.

think about it,
k
--sorry to disappoint anyone who wanted me to continue to be miserable because it fed some  need of theirs. Power trip somewhere else please.

Whew!!

Grateful the week has come to a close for me, there was a lot of walking done on my worn out shoes in the last 4 days. I was carried through today smiling knowing that it was my Friday, and nothing was going to get to me. Smiles, general silliness and full speed ahead since I was the only full time rover and still gave Podium and Control their breaks.

I ran like that till I hit the time clock, and then ran some more through Walmart doing my typical midnight shopping after pay day. ( and still got register shock even with a condensed list. I have figured out the 22 is their magic number. On just about every item that I normally purchase the price increase has been 22 cents each. That may sound cheap to some, but it adds up.)

Getting excited that Mel's visit is getting closer, really looking forward to it! And Dad is just a few months after that. Then summer, and soaking up some rays on the porch, and putzing with my flowers.  I kind of miss that. I am taking extra D vitamins during these winter months and I believe it has helped. But I have to say those short 30 minutes of sun soaking really felt good. I might try to get to the local pool this year, it is just a block or two away from here, walking there might be a good way to get the exercise in.. One of co-workers was selling for his kids school booster and I reserved a hanging tomato plant. That will be the first of those I have tried, should be interesting.

Ok, Gilly is flopping on my lap, a hint that I have typed enough and "I needs to pet the Gilly cat." Hope to yack more later.

g;nite,
k

Milestone

I am ready for hitting the hay, but I wanted to share one thing that just occurred to me this night...
It came to me strangely after breaking my own rule and looking at 'his' page on Facebook.
I am grateful to no longer be associated with him. That is a huge change for me. Yes, despite it all, I still held a small tenderness in my heart for him. Nine years is a fairly decent amount of time to spend with anyone, and like it or not they become part and parcel of who you are, and how you perceive your life to be.
Tonight's small reminder of his self righteousness, and fakery were perhaps the medicine that I needed.
That he continued to send family invites to those of my family that forgot to, or never got around to deleting him as a friend, made me want to visit and see.  Incidentally, I wondered what you were smoking these days.

Note: If You are reading this, they either did not know how..because the internet and Facebook are still a learning experience for them, or they have been too busy to take care of it. Both I believe have been corrected. You can have your "brand new" life. I believe that in time you will get whatever you deserve. ( praising The Lord on on your page,, whom you on many occasions denounced or blamed for your status in life,  is a strange form of Blasphemy. I seem to remember a suggestion I made to try and help you,.and you stating the God had never done anything for you, why should you visit his house?  You said "where was God?" Crying it out loud.  It's almost funny how hypocritical you have become. Either He is real to you, or He is not. My perception?  I believe you yell it on your page because it makes YOU look better to those that truly believe.) There may not have been a marriage license between us, but adultery is adultery,  married or in a long term committed relationship with 3 marriage proposals.  Check out the 10 commandments, I believe He covered that. In a thousand years you cannot claim innocence..your intent was obvious and often. You care now because you want acceptance.

That I feel thankful that we are no longer associated with each other is a relief, and took a while to bear fruit. You never deserved me, and were ungrateful for what I did to make your life easier and better than it had been.. I did it  because I loved you.  I fought as an adult to keep what I believed at the time was worth fighting for. (I was alone in that respect-the battle was very one sided.)

 I also think your self told lie about thievery is coming back to kick you in the ass.  A tight budget, yes. A fair one? Yes. Did everyone get paid on time and not have late payments and penalties? Yes. Instead of a couple working together you now have a brood to support, and it's not as easy or financially do-able as you thought it would be. Why? Because I never stole a penny from you dumb ass. It turned out the other way around.  There were bills incurred together. We made it together as a team. Or, as I had believed, a couple should do together.

yeah....I am glad you are getting whatever you failed to get from being with me. Because I think in the long run this too will fail. And truthfully I don't give a rats ass about how you feel about anything these days. You are welcome to the newness you had to have.( and are losing as each month  passes. It will stop being new and become routine as everything  eventually does..) Everything gets old in time, including You. I am grateful to have accepted the dumping at last with a feeling of gratitude. .it was a long time in coming. .

Oh, and funny how She is still a mystery. Hiding...what a way to start. I am glad that I never had to do that. I did things the right way, I waited till my divorce was final to the day before we moved in together. I expected that you would too, but you never did, it was too hard.   I used to be proud to share you with my friends and family. Guess that you are still waiting for that time because you did not do things the right way. I can vouch for that.

Yep, I can be arrogant too..because I know I am worth it.
Too bad that passed you by in your quest for self gratification.
Placing bets when you will start the cycle all over again.

k
Oh and..Goodbye.

Predictions that Prompt Investigation

The folks that write the horoscope for my sign..Scorpio...I gotta laugh at some of the advice I find written
(with I sure good intentions, but utter bullshit) advising me of what is to be, or what I should be doing.
Today...I was advised to "find some time alone,"( what a belly laugh/groan that one brought me) to assess my life patterns. Ummm...I think I have been doing that for over a year now. My answer came quickly and filled with self-derision...Yeah, I pick the wrong men to fall in love with. The other chuckle of course was finding time alone..that I have, with abundant left overs.

Ok, so I go back to my youth and try to figure 'why' I pick the wrong men. I guess that would likely be that I never really dated very much. The few dates I did have, and the boys that were interested were younger than me. So..when I first felt love it was for an older man. He was charming and old school, his manners that of a gentleman. (still the kicker for me) That was the first chime of the bell. With my lack of a social life, and restrictions at home, I wanted out and either on my own, or with him. Coming from an old fashioned upbringing and a Mother who did not tolerate " giving maid service with nothing in ink for protection" marriage was the only answer. Yes, I did express that I wanted to live with him. Now I realize that would have been the best way to go about it, without permanent ties. I would have quickly figured out that his life style and mine were too disparate, and ended it before the alter time could occur. Instead I made promises that I swore to keep, and did for 19 years. I did not give up on him until it was either my sanity or loss of self. When I realized that nothing would ever change, I would be a house drudge and neglected wife forever at 40 years of age, I chose a perilously poor future over well fed continual boredom.

At 40 I started over. At not quite 41 I fell hard for the opposite of what I previously had..a bad boy. So much more exciting then the humdrum life I had been living. But I failed to realize that Bad Boys don't really care about anyone but themselves, there is no 'couple.' They don't care who they hurt to make things happen for themselves.  So with all my eggs in the rotten basket I had them taken and similarly smashed as he went on his merry way to get his jollies, and cheating was his way.

Ten years after the joining with said bad boy, and one year after surviving his dumping of me, I am at odds as to what sort of man would have really been the right one. A mixture of the two? Is that possible? Really, I don't know. I guess when the time is right and if the person who is the true answer to my fabled man comes along I'll find out then. Or it could be that the man who is right for me cannot be defined. I have a feeling that he is out there, but don't ask me if I have a clue where to look. I know it will NOT be online dating or chatting. There is so much blather and falseness found in those that prowl the internet. I hope that we meet in the real world and discover each other the old fashioned way..talking..dating..and slowly falling for each other. With me that would be with a great deal of caution, that last attempt was a killer.

So as for horoscopes? They will likely continue to make me laugh out loud, and sometimes as tonight, take a few moments to ponder what it actually said about me. There is nothing wrong with self diagnosis as long as it remains positive. And I am...positive about the positive and negative about the negative..Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!!

the three Stooges and I wish you a good night,
k

Where did the time go?

Almost a year has passed since my friends helped me move out and on. At the end of this month I plan to celebrate with a very close friend who helped me through some of the most painful moments of my life.
Neither of us are big spenders, the money is not there for it, but it will be a celebration all the same.
Meal coupons, a movie coupon won at Christmas...been saving them up for her visit. It was just about a year ago that she came up to help me make painful decision regarding what I needed to get rid of to fit into a tiny apartment, and shared the packing up duties.  I can never express what her friendship has meant to me. How can you? Words never seem to be enough.

I down sized big time, I had to. Mix matched furniture was the theme and still is. I still do not have anywhere for company to sit here. The "used" love seat dream was swept away in the reality of what I can afford. I have to say it gets harder all the time with everything increasing,(food, gas)  health insurance paying less. I have become a dollar store shopper out of need, and teeth grinding annoyance at the way Walmart raises it's prices every week now. I almost never shop at a regular food store unless it is for one or two cannot find items.

And new clothes? Hahahaha!--sorry--burst of laughter unavoidable--- I did not even buy slippers this year because they wanted $12 for them, and it was not in the budget or pocket. Sweaters and pants...The Good Will. No new shoes..and my work shoes are about 2.5 years old, developing holes and the miles at work have  worn away the tread on the bottom.  Purchasing the same shoes now? Need them..but..not going to happen right now. Big changes for the chick from middle class suburbia.

But I survived, and will continue to do so. One of my bosses told me she does not know how I make it on one salary..really..I barely do. I purchase nothing extra..ever. I tried to pay one creditor and fell short on my electric the next month. So those calls keep coming and keep being deleted. ( not even going to discuss the mail.) I really do want, and look forward to someday having a roommate. I've adapted to living alone, but in today's world, you really need your friends to pull yourselves along, and share good times with.

The apartment re-certification is over..I am set for another year here at no increase in the rent. But I am looking forward to moving out and on if and when the opportunity presents itself. And I am looking ahead and hoping that this coming year brings good changes, new friends, new experiences. Somewhere in my future is a place with a garden that is wistfully waiting for me to bring forth new life. I know it's out there..ready to burst into colorful and fragrant blooms with a little sweat, digging, and love.

hugs, g'nite,
kel