I am ready for hitting the hay, but I wanted to share one thing that just occurred to me this night...
It came to me strangely after breaking my own rule and looking at 'his' page on Facebook.
I am grateful to no longer be associated with him. That is a huge change for me. Yes, despite it all, I still held a small tenderness in my heart for him. Nine years is a fairly decent amount of time to spend with anyone, and like it or not they become part and parcel of who you are, and how you perceive your life to be.
Tonight's small reminder of his self righteousness, and fakery were perhaps the medicine that I needed.
That he continued to send family invites to those of my family that forgot to, or never got around to deleting him as a friend, made me want to visit and see. Incidentally, I wondered what you were smoking these days.
Note: If You are reading this, they either did not know how..because the internet and Facebook are still a learning experience for them, or they have been too busy to take care of it. Both I believe have been corrected. You can have your "brand new" life. I believe that in time you will get whatever you deserve. ( praising The Lord on on your page,, whom you on many occasions denounced or blamed for your status in life, is a strange form of Blasphemy. I seem to remember a suggestion I made to try and help you,.and you stating the God had never done anything for you, why should you visit his house? You said "where was God?" Crying it out loud. It's almost funny how hypocritical you have become. Either He is real to you, or He is not. My perception? I believe you yell it on your page because it makes YOU look better to those that truly believe.) There may not have been a marriage license between us, but adultery is adultery, married or in a long term committed relationship with 3 marriage proposals. Check out the 10 commandments, I believe He covered that. In a thousand years you cannot claim innocence..your intent was obvious and often. You care now because you want acceptance.
That I feel thankful that we are no longer associated with each other is a relief, and took a while to bear fruit. You never deserved me, and were ungrateful for what I did to make your life easier and better than it had been.. I did it because I loved you. I fought as an adult to keep what I believed at the time was worth fighting for. (I was alone in that respect-the battle was very one sided.)
I also think your self told lie about thievery is coming back to kick you in the ass. A tight budget, yes. A fair one? Yes. Did everyone get paid on time and not have late payments and penalties? Yes. Instead of a couple working together you now have a brood to support, and it's not as easy or financially do-able as you thought it would be. Why? Because I never stole a penny from you dumb ass. It turned out the other way around. There were bills incurred together. We made it together as a team. Or, as I had believed, a couple should do together.
yeah....I am glad you are getting whatever you failed to get from being with me. Because I think in the long run this too will fail. And truthfully I don't give a rats ass about how you feel about anything these days. You are welcome to the newness you had to have.( and are losing as each month passes. It will stop being new and become routine as everything eventually does..) Everything gets old in time, including You. I am grateful to have accepted the dumping at last with a feeling of gratitude. .it was a long time in coming. .
Oh, and funny how She is still a mystery. Hiding...what a way to start. I am glad that I never had to do that. I did things the right way, I waited till my divorce was final to the day before we moved in together. I expected that you would too, but you never did, it was too hard. I used to be proud to share you with my friends and family. Guess that you are still waiting for that time because you did not do things the right way. I can vouch for that.
Yep, I can be arrogant too..because I know I am worth it.
Too bad that passed you by in your quest for self gratification.
Placing bets when you will start the cycle all over again.
k
Oh and..Goodbye.
It came to me strangely after breaking my own rule and looking at 'his' page on Facebook.
I am grateful to no longer be associated with him. That is a huge change for me. Yes, despite it all, I still held a small tenderness in my heart for him. Nine years is a fairly decent amount of time to spend with anyone, and like it or not they become part and parcel of who you are, and how you perceive your life to be.
Tonight's small reminder of his self righteousness, and fakery were perhaps the medicine that I needed.
That he continued to send family invites to those of my family that forgot to, or never got around to deleting him as a friend, made me want to visit and see. Incidentally, I wondered what you were smoking these days.
Note: If You are reading this, they either did not know how..because the internet and Facebook are still a learning experience for them, or they have been too busy to take care of it. Both I believe have been corrected. You can have your "brand new" life. I believe that in time you will get whatever you deserve. ( praising The Lord on on your page,, whom you on many occasions denounced or blamed for your status in life, is a strange form of Blasphemy. I seem to remember a suggestion I made to try and help you,.and you stating the God had never done anything for you, why should you visit his house? You said "where was God?" Crying it out loud. It's almost funny how hypocritical you have become. Either He is real to you, or He is not. My perception? I believe you yell it on your page because it makes YOU look better to those that truly believe.) There may not have been a marriage license between us, but adultery is adultery, married or in a long term committed relationship with 3 marriage proposals. Check out the 10 commandments, I believe He covered that. In a thousand years you cannot claim innocence..your intent was obvious and often. You care now because you want acceptance.
That I feel thankful that we are no longer associated with each other is a relief, and took a while to bear fruit. You never deserved me, and were ungrateful for what I did to make your life easier and better than it had been.. I did it because I loved you. I fought as an adult to keep what I believed at the time was worth fighting for. (I was alone in that respect-the battle was very one sided.)
I also think your self told lie about thievery is coming back to kick you in the ass. A tight budget, yes. A fair one? Yes. Did everyone get paid on time and not have late payments and penalties? Yes. Instead of a couple working together you now have a brood to support, and it's not as easy or financially do-able as you thought it would be. Why? Because I never stole a penny from you dumb ass. It turned out the other way around. There were bills incurred together. We made it together as a team. Or, as I had believed, a couple should do together.
yeah....I am glad you are getting whatever you failed to get from being with me. Because I think in the long run this too will fail. And truthfully I don't give a rats ass about how you feel about anything these days. You are welcome to the newness you had to have.( and are losing as each month passes. It will stop being new and become routine as everything eventually does..) Everything gets old in time, including You. I am grateful to have accepted the dumping at last with a feeling of gratitude. .it was a long time in coming. .
Oh, and funny how She is still a mystery. Hiding...what a way to start. I am glad that I never had to do that. I did things the right way, I waited till my divorce was final to the day before we moved in together. I expected that you would too, but you never did, it was too hard. I used to be proud to share you with my friends and family. Guess that you are still waiting for that time because you did not do things the right way. I can vouch for that.
Yep, I can be arrogant too..because I know I am worth it.
Too bad that passed you by in your quest for self gratification.
Placing bets when you will start the cycle all over again.
k
Oh and..Goodbye.
No comments:
Post a Comment