Simply...stay out

Umm..to whom it may concern. My life is my life. Starting a 'new life' or not, is my business. I do not dance to commands from others that have done nothing worthy of being included in it. My blog is also "My" blog. Unless I am spilling obscenities every other word or writing adult oriented fiction, the subject matter should Not make a difference to anyone else. It does not threaten or harm anyone, especially if they should wise up and not read it. Seriously, it is that simple.

If I chose to remain at times bitter, again my business. If I chose to vent..my business.

If I want to be sarcastic or silly it's my right. Freedom of Speech, including Freedom of the Press, look it up. It's quite easy to censure simply by not visiting any of my blogs.

If I wish to write truths that are uncomfortable to you because they paint a clear picture of what happened in my life..too..damn..bad. If you chose to blind yourself to what could be true simply because it might happen to you, ( and you don't want to know) then I refer back to the "not too bright" remark I made a long time ago. Selected to not ask questions, just defend..you clearly only see one side of the story that was 9 years in the making and no concept to what I feel or felt at all. Great you have love..sorry honey so did I.

And the whole motherhood thing you keep tossing around like it deserves some sort of award or sainthood? Get real. It does Not necessarily make You a nice person because you can give birth.

Human physiology..reproductive organs..an egg and sperm..that made you a mother. It does not make you better than someone who could not.

Stay out..it's simple enough that you should understand.

In the Air

Change is in the air. Just what it will be I'll have to wait and find out. I had my review last night, commendable all around. ( I am anal enough to want outstanding though, lol-just like those A's in school.) But it is better than satisfactory. Time will tell. Should find out in the next couple of days. I am happy being a Dual Rate supervisor, and have no idea if they plan on moving me to full time supervisor or not, I have not been privy to their plans for me, nor do I want to presume knowledge I do not yet have. I was told by one other DR that they had plans to make him Management...really not sure how that would be, since the day he told me that he was 2.5 hours late for work.

Very Interesting. (but stupid! lol..as Artie would say..Laugh In days. Again, if you don't get it, you are not old enough...yet.)

I have no giant ambitious plans. I just want a job with challenges that makes me happy and pays my bills. So far I have been enjoying the position a great deal. Would I like being a full time supervisor? Probably, but it is a salary position, and they have yet to fix the imbalance; that is the fact that a DR working hourly makes better money than a supervisor on salary. I have suggested several time that they try to work on that. It's hard to move UP when your salary would actually move DOWN.

That's all that is on my mind today. Hugs and a good day to all.

kel

Happy Halloween!!

My weekend is over, and work is just hours away now. I shall be off to greet the scary little monsters that come to my door this year, but I hesitate to say just how awake I will be. Getting off work at 7am and then trying to stay up for the little ones will be a challenge. I enjoy it though, and the past several years I have been stuck at work and have missed sharing their spooky little selves. I won't hang out and wait for the older kids, because I do believe that the holiday ( as we have made it to be in America) is for younger children, the Trick -or-Treating part that is. I have been incredulous in the past at my own nieces going out and trick-or-treating at the ripe age of 18. My mother cut me off at 12, and I became an escort for my younger brothers.

While I lived in Maryland I would frequently walk my young (at the time) nieces around the blocks, down dark dirt roads, and tall menacing trees. Drive them? Hell No. Part of the fun is the walking, and seeing how other folks decorated. And when you are tired, you go home. The sugar rush to follow needs exercise before hand. Plus how can you be properly scared and and excited if someone is your chauffeur? The best Halloween nights are colder, windy, and very dark. Get your kids out of the car and let them properly celebrate.

I am sharing here, and I have already shared on Facebook, my Halloween video made 3 years ago. Please feel free to watch it and get into the 'spirit' of the holiday. (and please disregard the dedication, I cannot go back and edit that out unfortunately, the actual movie edit is no longer on my computer. So yeah..not dedicating to a past love.)

I can bet my weekend will be filled with Adults celebrating without candy and with alcohol...should be interesting. I have always wanted to walk a vampire or witch out for bad behavior, hahaha!

Frightfully Yours,

k

Video link below:

http://youtu.be/RZboUOumXuQ

A Little Fall...

Not much happening or going to happen this my weekend off. The usual chores, plus some light Fall housecleaning. I usually try to tackle something before it becomes an issue with me, so there is not too much to do. I've reserved a couple of movies, which I will watch on my lonesome, one I have waited awhile to come to redbox, which the rest of the world has already seen.

My sleep schedule is of course all messed up as per my typical grave shift on and days off mode. Slept from 2pm till 1230 am. I will try to stay up as long as my eyelids can stay open today.

Shopping and all planned for morning attack, lol. And perhaps baking up some Pumpkin bread to share with my co-workers. Desserts kept at home usually go to waste, I rarely have them more than twice, and usually only once. Wasteful..'tsk..tsk'. ..the response of my cravings typically end up in the garbage can. ( but at least not on my ass..hah-hah!)

Wishing the rest you a good work week ..

k

Totally Digging It!

Ok, I know that title pretty much gives away my generation, lol..but it is the truth. I am really getting a fun kick out of being a Dual Rate Supervisor...my supervisor days are currently weekend days, when just about everything is happening. From intoxicated patrons, to medicals, and suspicious objects, busy work..and damnit..for the first time ever, FUN work! ( gee- that only took a little over 30 years to find, lol!)

I barely get a break during my shifts, but since I am not standing around being bored it is easily overlooked. (the 'tops' of my feet are sore tonight with the amount of walking I did.) I had 2 reports and 4 walk outs for intoxication, plus other duties: ID issues, Responsible Gaming, etc. When I worked for Geico I was in a call center that took accident reports and miscellaneous calls about claims. It was interesting, but you were Not there with the customer, plus management had No sense of humor, at all. I laughed so hard tonight, with my co-workers, other sups and managers, that it made other work seem like..well..work! Everyone does their part, and all of us are running all night, but I am digging the mental challenge as well as the physical aspect of the job. And working with the public face to face is very different from phone calls.

We are not always the bad guys, we assist patrons who need help as well. Tonight after finishing a walk out I passed a Hispanic couple with something obviously wrong, she was crying and he looked lost. My Spanish is next to nil, but I fortunately found another patron leaving who helped translate for me...they had been looking for their car for 3 hours. I had mobile come around to drive them, but in the process the male slipped away looking on foot, and the female knew no English at all. Finally...we met up at the front entrance and I got to use a new phone app, a translator that I had downloaded. I told her to call him, she understood, then I advised him what was going to happen after they got into the vehicle to find their car. After over an hour of looking they found their truck. This sort of thing happens quite often. People are so excited about getting to the casino that they pay No attention to where they parked, or what they saw when they first got there.

All in all, I am a happy camper with this new position. I was made to write reports, accuracy and speed and I am finished. It's the little details that pertain to the different kinds of reports that I have to learn still. I wish I could do the Dual rate more frequently than 2 days a week, but I do not believe that is in their plans, budgets ya know. Becoming a full time supervisor I would lose the hourly pay and any overtime that I might get, but it is the next logical step.

Tomorrow is a guard day...sigh..my Friday, and standing post (other than the singing and dancing I mentioned in an earlier blog) is boring. But I will get through it..and wait for my next day in the blue.

Hugs to all,

kel

(hey Mel..the rest of my ass? ummm..on it's way out.)

Tonight's Thoughts

~Everyone gets older, it is a natural fact of life. There is no running from it, or fixing it. (though I have seen some truly horrible attempts from Hollywood people! Who wants to look like a warped cartoon??)

~When we lie to others we lie to ourselves. It is an endless sharp tooth in the butt reality.

~True friends and lovers would not use you as a means to an end. It is their steadfastness and unselfish sharing that makes them a treasure.

~ Faith will see you through terrible times, because it provides us with a hand of guidance. To know that this life is just a beginning, and death is the next step we can take without fear, is a gift. It is the living that would deny someone peace. We are left with anger and hurt that they were taken from us. If you believe in the after life, you know that they are someplace where pain is no more, and they await to hold you once again. I don't know why, but I have always been certain of this, even after losing a parent, 3 beloved grandparents, a brother, and friends. All were beautiful people, and yes the world is less without them here. But I don't doubt that they await me; it's a feeling that I carry in my soul that they are watching over me till my time comes as well. And I do wish that certainty for everyone I know, it will bring you peace as well.

~And finally the expression "excuses are like assholes, everybody has them and they all stink?" Is a true statement. There are always excuses that we can make to 'clear' ourselves from being wrong for the things we do. I've made them, and I know others that regularly do so. None of the excuses given can change a truth. So why make them? Because mistakenly we believe that the truth will damn us in someone else's eyes. Honesty can sometimes be hard work, but it does leave you clean in spirit and soul.

Have a good night, time to get ready for work.

k

This Year in a Nutshell

In about 14 days I will put another notch on the calender that has been my life so far.

To say that the day has it's share of memories would be an understatement. This year that is winding to a close had some of the highest peaks and the lowest of lows in my entire life, starting with? You guessed it, my last birthday. If you have followed this blog, or are friends/family, then you know what I am talking about, a marriage proposal followed by 2 months of the worst moments of my entire life after I was dumped by the proposer.

There have been other peaks, though none so high. I survived, which is also saying a great deal, because that pain was like no other, there is no comparison. (um-- yeah for me and the folks with stock in Kleenex.) I have my own place, the first in my adult life. I succeeded in a quest to move up at my work, and am thoroughly enjoying it. I still have plenty of challenges before me, and I take one step at a time to get through them.

I will likely not be celebrating, it is a work day, and we don't do birthdays at work, at least not with this job. Besides, I have no immediate family here, nor any friends up this way that would share a few moments with me on that day. I am not planning on celebrating at all mostly due to what memories the day has for me now. I might sell something and buy myself a small goody, but that will be the extent.( yes I said sell, lol- I have no money burning a hole in my pocket..I use that for laundry, lol.)

I am going to have my wish though, even if I am not blowing out candles. I guess sharing it would put the ol' curse on me of not having it come true, so I won't. But if you know me, you know what I would be wishing for. I certainly hope that it comes true. And in case you are wondering, I don't wish bad things for others, it's asking for a karma butt kick- something I really would rather pass on.

Hugs, and have a good one,

k