Time for change(s)

I've dreaded this day because it will take an incredible amount of willpower to change at this point
in my life. I'm not ready to post this on Facebook, and very few venture here, almost like a real diary locked away in a drawer. I've started the ball rolling with making a doctor appointment, the first step.
I've shared specimens will the lab at work. The news showing up is not so good, not terrible, but really not good. My cholesterol is still a problem. My previous physician (of whom I had little respect for-my own reasons) had prescribed a pill to lower it. Well it never did what it was supposed to so I stopped taking a pill which did no good. I had also read that one of the side effects was elevated blood sugar.

Todays results of my A1C Hbg, which is a test that measures blood sugar over a period of time (how it does that with one draw I'll never know.) This test came back elevated as well. My purpose in seeing a new doctor was to get aid in quitting smoking. It's past time and I am starting to feel the physical side of being a smoker, something that I did not feel living back east. Living at 4900 feet is about 4700 feet higher than I had been living. When I first arrived I did not feel any different. However since December I have slowly become short of breath.

So...wow...wondering just how much gumption I truly have. Quitting smoking, changing my diet, and getting exercise and being successful at it will really be a challenge for me. More pills as well, which I am truly not wild about. I think Americans are too pill happy. One pill fixes one problem and another hole opens in the damn with the side effects of that one pill. So you are prescribed another pill..and on and on. I'd rather deal with this simply by changing my life style then by adding more pills.

I'm not going to ask for good luck. If and when I am sure that I have succeeded in my battle I will boast about it. Until then I will be digging though my psyche looking for that needed stubbornness to jump start the will power.

K~*

Where does it say "hate" people who are different than you?

I've always believed two things about the Bible..

1. It was written by men, a history passed down by word of mouth, so it is biased and has it's share of opinion written as the word of God, by humans, who had their share of prejudice.


2. It is a good guide for ethical behavior. " 10 commandments, etc, Love their neighbor as thy self. But I really hate when people twist it's words for the reason of hate. Whether it's someone who believes something else, or enslaving an entire people, and finding passages that can support what you want to believe. 

I feel that what Jesus was preaching was Love. And you cannot get Love with a pitchfork and fire inspired intolerance. This world would be a much better place if we could just let other people believe what they want to, as long as it is peaceful and respects the beliefs and rights of others.

No one has the right to claim that their religion is the 'right' one. it is the right one for them. Killing in God's name? So not what we were taught to believe. Using religion as an excuse for war? Treating people as less than human because of their sex, color, beliefs? Also not what Jesus was preaching. 

Humans...have taken a very good idea and twisted it to what they want to believe. Things were a lot simpler when we worshipped the earth, sun and moon. 

~K

Seems impossible, I mean really??

There were 384 hits to this blog since yesterday. How is that possible? Who would visit that often? Has me thinking that my blog is linked to something else that is wildly more interesting..lol.

Not much news here, plugging away on the new job, my 90 day review is next month, and my benefits will start then as well. It has it's days of boring, and sometimes weeks where the action does not stop. I get to meet some nice people during my day, mostly the Ancillary clerks at the clinics, but also the medical directors in Administration. If someone shares clues that they would prefer to be left alone, I mind them and just say my hello's and git.

We have had some weeks of beautiful almost spring like weather, but winter is projected to return with a vengeance this coming weekend. I won't hold my breath, because forecasts here change quickly, but they are calling for 8-12 inches of snow Friday through Sunday. This will make for a challenging start for my week.

Wishing everyone well (except for a few that I am better off not mentioning) and hope that winter is treating you well.

Love,
K

Like Minds and thinking alike

Just a quick note regarding something that I am happy to have found.

Colorado..famous for the Rocky Mountains

Colorado..famous for pot legalization

Colorado..famous for it's Bronco fans

Colorado,.,famous for being conservative....

I must admit to feeling more than a bit repressed since my move here because there
are certain things I am not allowed to discuss in the house..namely politics, fracking,
chem trails, and the corporate controlled media. I was beginning to feel I could not express myself at
all, it was not appreciated and I was even told to NOT talk about those things and others.

So I must admit to feeling relieved and refreshed to find out that I am not the lone
liberal in Larimer county. I have spoken with a co-worker, who I will not name, but
totally enjoyed speaking with about all those mentioned things above and more. It was like
finding a friend in an unexpected place.

The other was a bit more surreal, but that was only due to the fact that it was snowing and I
was cleaning off my car at home when he walked up. This nice man had taken on an enormous
task in trying to get people interested in solar gardens on a day that mother nature blew heavy snow on him. He assured me, while we made small talk about solar, that I was not alone, and that there were many out there that care about the things I was forbidden to discuss.

So, I feel a little less the odd ball, and more than a little relieved to meet these folks.
Sometimes the above mentioned subjects, when brought into conversation, actually scare people, make them uncomfortable, and it's an iffy thing when you take that chance.

So..feeling not alone anymore,

K

There is no "I"

We have become very "self serving" in today's world. Why do so many relationships fail today instead of continuing like our grandparents? Because we think in "I' and not we, or us. I fear the days of marriage lasting those amazing 50 years are gone. If you do know of one of those marriages it is likely that they are from an earlier generation.

When those folks fell in love back then it was forever, come better or worse, and they faced those times together, because they gave each other strength. Adversity was a challenge met by 2 and not 1. They respected each other, and treated each other as they would want to be treated.

Today's world is so very much "me-me-me", what am I not getting that I need? Why is this person that I married not taking care of me? Why am I doing everything myself? I deserve better. The message that is sent by our statements to each other reinforces that. Belittling, not listening, only reacting makes both people wrong.

We have lost the "we." Being in two failed relationships myself I can see that. Some of it was my fault, and definitely some of it was theirs. I thought I was working for the We, but obviously not since it ended in  failure. That was both of our faults, not exclusively mine.

I have lost faith in a relationship working and have no desire to ever search or start another one.
If that means being by myself then so be it. I am happy being alone. I have four legged friends to help, and two legged friends to make me feel happy about being who I am. I do not feel that another person can complete me because only I can do that.

I'll never meet another man again who will change that belief. I have seen far too many failures  to keep the dream of a "soul mate" alive for me. Maybe somewhere in the distant past I had been a part of a great love. Maybe that's why I have tried for so long, or perhaps I believed in fairy tales.

There is no "I" in a marriage. If there is not a "We" than there is nothing.

Not intending to be dark, but it's been a rough night here. Neither party was innocent. But if they only see their own side then they really do not have a "We." Things were said, actions were taken that were nothing but wrong. Being an observer was painful, and keeping my mouth shut was harder still.

A marriage that works takes a lot of compromise, it cannot be one sided. There can only be "we."

~K

I is froze

I is froze
First mah fingahs
den mah toes.
Not to mention
mah little red nose.

Damn! Cold. Damn Cold!! When I left work tonight the thermometer on my car read -6 degrees.
Part of my job is checking perimeters and doors, hence my silly remark of being frozen. Not quite used to these extremely low temperatures yet. Colorado's weather never stays anything for long, it's always changing. We had about 8 inches of snow on Christmas and the 26th. Then it snowed some more on Sunday and Monday, and Mother Nature ushered in some very frigid weather. Tomorrow's high of 22 will seem like a much welcomed heat wave.

I heard via the Weather Channel that So Cal and Las Vegas were going to get snow on New Years Eve, I'd hate to be an insurance agent in that region on New Years Day..lol. Fender Benders everywhere.

Wishing everyone a great New Year in 2015.

~K

O.T.

O.T.makes me zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Weird that in my first week they were already hitting me up for over time. Funny that the lady doing the hiring stated "If you have to work over then you will come in later the next day." Oh really? Pardon me if I keep falling asleep while writing this note. I have been asked to work over an average of 2 times a week since I started. And of course I said yes.

The 40 hour week of constant driving makes this gal tired enough. Add more hours onto the day and snowy/icy weather? I'm ready for bed when I clock out.

I like being out on my own. I do not mind the drive. I just want to be awake while doing it.

I know..picky-picky, you cannot have Everything! You silly girl.


zzzzzzz~K