A little flirting

A little flirting never hurt anyone..even if you did not think you were flirting...lol. Bright blue eyes, with a mop of curly dark hair...or tall dark and handsome...and oh way too young, both of them.

I did not start it..well, not on purpose. Friendly smile, I responded with a small compliment or comment meant sincerely..and twice in one day I blushed and smiled afterwards. I don't believe that either incident (hours apart) would amount to a hill of beans, but it does give me some hope. Those nice young men...with such incredible smiles. It seems that I'm not dead yet...not yet...(laughing). Oh, and though I am not very fond of the word and it's connotations, Go Cougar Power.

laughing myself to sleep

k

ps: I have been told by friends, both male and female, that I lack confidence..that is certainly understandable given this past year. Maybe it's time it came back... maybe.

Sorry, a bit silly and tired, time to lay down now.

dealing with it

I'm headed towards dream land, fighting the same cold, but I thought I would write a quick one.

It was a good night, fights, intoxication, medicals and a my first counterfeit bill report. Lol..what a fun life I lead! At the very least I can say that when I am a supervisor it's never boring. I run my tail off to keep up with someone else's very long legs. ( I used to think that I walked fast..HAH! It takes 10 of my steps to match someone's 2! -and I am still behind him.)

So today (my night) I am weary but happy. The night flew by, filled with characters You would not normally encounter in your days. If you did you'd very likely quickly walk away. Umm..no choice here but to deal with them, and it is good experience. There is no running just facing it and pushing it towards a good conclusion.

I never envisioned my life to take this direction. It was a job taken out of necessity because there was nothing else up here in this area for me. I never envisioned being on my own as I am right now either. In neither of these things was I really given a choice, it was handed to me and I had to accept it and deal with it, which seems to be a theme in my life of late.

Do I wish things had gone differently? Yes, quite often. But since they did not, this is what I have as my life. I could sit and be depressed or I can go and do. I have had more than enough of the depression and tears, it sucks, and I never want to be in that place again. So... you had a new start? At my expense, yes you did. Yes, You fixed all your problems by throwing me out of our house and your life. But hey, I am happy that you found a new job, I knew you deserved better in that respect.

I am reminded of a few pets that came to be part of my family at one time...they were throw aways....thrown out a door, out of a car...and they became part of our family, we took them in and loved them. This time it was me, thrown out by you and I am still wondering what I did to deserve that? I wrack my brain sometimes wondering what horrible thing I must have done to become unwanted overnight, and in every sense abandoned.

I did land on my feet, I landed quite hard, jolting all the way up. I am still trying to find a balance in this new life, as they say "all work and no play"..but it will happen eventually. I'm not so quick to replace what I had believed was real. That's your thing.

Just shoot me

I will stand with my back to the wall..blind fold not necessary, I am too blurry eyed to see the guns. Ready...

Aim...

Fire!

Thanks, I feel better now.

k

Ugh!

Starve a fever...and Kill my Damn Cold!

This...Ugh!!..really bites.

Popping Big B vitamin packed with Vitamin C.

Soup..soup..orange juice.

Sneeze..sneeze..Sneeze! --third dang day in a row for that.

I'm for bed.

Next step, whiskey and honey.

I provide the whiskey..somebody send me a honey...lol-just kidding, I'm infectious..and not a meanie.

Yeah..I'm silly right now...been running a fever...which never helps me

think clearly...Did you say something? Hmmm

Tonight should be fun.

Not.

Who will walk who out? I'm liable to follow them..if there is a pillow at the end of the walk.

~k

Decided I am mean...

I will Killlsss the one that gave me germs!!! <--plotting gruesome explosion. Heh- Heh--

dusts off hands..plans walk away from big nasty mess.

Better start running Moss,I has dynamite.

A push towards normalcy

Not a lot to say tonight, my brain and body are running on auto-pilot. A required meeting scheduled when I normally would still be asleep, and the beginning of a battle over a cold that is invading me. On full attack mode, fluids, Vitamin C, soups and tissues..lol. ( this I believe I can blame on a soft heart...I helped out someone who was obviously in need of some rest with no place to stay, and made a pallet on my living room floor for them to catch some zzz's. Unfortunately, I was rewarded with germs..not sure how..they must have been contagious enough to leave a bug behind. I know it was not done on purpose..but Damn! I Really hate catching colds.)

I took a tiny step towards requesting normal hours this morning. Not sure if what I said will have any immediate effect, but I presented it nevertheless. Don't misunderstand, I really love the crew I have come to know on Grave shift, from management on down. But my days off are spent sleeping, a little cleaning, and not much else. I'd like to sleep when it's dark for a change, and be awake during the days to get out and about. Share time with friends which is difficult when you live a vampires life.

The work meeting was about workplace violence, something that most of us are already familiar with. There is always the potential for any disgruntled patron (or employee) to go over the edge. For the most part I use tone, empathy and never the "YOU" word..always "I". Being assertive does not have to cause someone to get pissed off, not if you are careful how you phrase your words, body posture, and facial expressions. True, more often than not they can push your button with constantly re-asking the same question of "what did I do wrong? Why do I have to leave?" Sometimes they just keep repeating it over and over. I will explain at least 3 times, and then I just get quiet and keep my compass pointed towards a safe departure for them and an end to the situation. Usually that works, but there are times it won't, and I know this.

How can we know exactly how a total stranger will react to being asked to leave? You cannot know. Surveillance and a buddy system help out a great deal. If there is even a possibility of trouble, there are usually two of us doing the job together. If that is not possible Food and Beverage have lent me a hand more than once by staying to provide a better margin of safety, and I really appreciate their help. They usually have the final word on visible signs of intoxication, if they say "yes" there is no other option than a walk out.

I am enjoying learning new skills, the challenge was desperately needed. I would like a better balance between my work and my personal life though. That was all I intended by putting in a bid for different hours.

Now, I have a cat who is trying to lay on my arms to prevent further typing, so I am off. Got to get ready for work, even though my body says rest would be good. Hugs to all.

k

I gots the 'lazy's"

Slept way too long last night, not sure why, perhaps staying up for 24 hours does that, seems to happen every Monday/Tuesday. It's a cool gray day outside, hints of wintertime, though Fall temperatures. The trees still have yet to turn here, though there are a few here and there. Still there has been no first frost to trip the trigger. I should be up raring to go, and I am sitting on my butt, lol.

My favorite time of year..and here I sit. I am going to miss the Pennsylvania drive quite a bit. Tasty Amish food, crafts to lust over, beautiful scenery. This is one of my "that was your old life" moments. Maybe someday..maybe I'll be able to travel again. A good 'wishful sighs' second or two..and then let it go.

Chores ,the same ones every week, my routine. I'll get up soon..er..maybe..I'll get up..Nah.

A bit lonely, but nothing new there. Gilly thought my sleeping was a good thing, cat cuddles most of the night, with a nip towards his mealtime.

" Get up Meowmee! Food time!"

" Ok, now go back to bed...good Meowmee...ahhh..purrrr."

Cat hypnosis..wins each time. I am under his spell...feline mind control...his cat voodoo is very strong.

He is requesting catnip and cat cookies, and no productive moves out of me.

hahah...

k

Shake Yer Bootie!

Ok, it was S-L-O-W last night compared to Friday and Saturday. I stood on post for most of the night..for those that don't know what I do for a living, I am a Dual Rate Security Supervisor.

That means I split my work days between being a Security Supervisor and being a Security guard. Last night was a guard night. My first couple of door posts were fairly steady for Identification verification. But as hours progressed door traffic began to slow down to a crawl, it was after all Monday morning in the wee hours and the beginning of the work week for the nine-to-fivers.

So..what to do to pass the time? Quite a few officers doodle, but I sing and dance..lol. Well, not loudly, or a lot of spastic movement, but enough to lift my mood. Yeah, after two years, I am not too concerned about what people think of my singing or dancing abilities. It makes work fun, and that is shared in sunny smiles and pleasant greetings and good nights for those coming and going. The musical fare at work is usually 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's music, so yeah, I know most of the words to sing along. (grab some ear plugs..hahaha!)

Working the H-Lounge on Friday and Saturday night as a supervisor has created an itch..I'd love to go out sometime to socialize, dance and have a few drinks..it has been a very long time. I cannot do this at my workplace, it's a giant NO-NO for us to be seen on our off hours imbibing anywhere at the casino. But I would love to let my hair down, it's been way too long since I last boogied. ( or at least attempted to, lol..I am not the world's greatest dancer...and I really don't care. I get to watch everyone else attempt it, so what I look like on the floor is not something to worry about. I've seen what some qualify as dancing, and believe me..I know I could do better. I find myself suppressing laughter while watching the floor..usually try to keep that in and just smile! I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.)

So, if any of my friends feel the same urge..give me a call. It might be hard to match schedules, since my weekend is everyone else's work week, but I will try to request a Friday off if something can be planned ahead of time. Come ON! I wanna Shake Mah Bootie too!!

Have a great week 9-5er's

kel