Bits and Pieces

Slowly learning my way around Loveland because it's a bit bigger than what I had become accustomed to. I think that I can find one of the Walmarts and a food store or two. Tomorrow I will have the afternoon to myself and I 'd like to do some more gardening. I plan on an excursion to find a car wash, because Greta the Mazda is still bug splattered from the trip out here. (plus dust from the many construction zones.)

I have applied to varied positions, and as usual it's a wait and see, which I have trouble dealing with. I've applied for security positions, medical secretary, assembler at a printing company, and call center for utilities in the city of Fort Collins. I told you..very varied.

I am now insured in Colorado, the next step will be a driver's license since mine expires on my birthday this year. (that should be a blast) Registering the car will have to fall after that, as I should have approximately 3 months before I can be ticketed. (I hope)

I am expanding my horizons to include micro brews. I have never been much of a beer drinker, but it's either beer or wine, and I really have never gotten into wine. There are a fair amount of smaller breweries around here. Oh! And coming up October 25 there will be a Zombie Crawl in old town Loveland, that should be interesting!

Catch up more later,
~k

PS: I have failed to mention how beautiful it is here. The weather is traditionally fall like, clear bright skies. I actually found the big dipper sitting outside looking at the sky at night. Looking forward to a trip to Estes. We've just gotten in the last few days the first snows on the higher peaks, I could see them today driving through town.

We Made It!

We crossed many rivers, including the mighty Mississippi; we climbed a few mountains and we made it across on Interstate 80 West, which was under construction in every state we zoomed through. Gilligan traveled like a pro! But he is currently hiding in our room at Dads. The car ride was one thing, but dogs are quite another.

Waiting on the moving truck..wondering where everything will go. Job search has already started. Will say more later once I have my computer set up.

K~

T-2

One more day until the moving truck arrives. I am almost totally packed except for the pots and pans.
Then onto cleaning..Yay..not. I am still in a quandary as to whether I sleep on the floor on Monday night after the truck has left, or finding a cheap hotel room locally. Not looking forward to my first sprint of the journey spent after sleeping on the floor all night, but do I want to spend money on a room? Decisions, decisions.

I don't have GPS so I found an atlas at the Walmart.(still cracks me up when people add "the" like it's the only one out there.) I figure the most difficult parts navigating will be around the bigger cities, the first being Pittsburgh. I intend to mark my passage in short Facebook posts, to keep friends apprised.
Being that I have an older smart phone that loses battery strength quickly, I'm crossing my fingers.

Charles Town has been good to me in it's way, I appreciate all the friends that I have made here, and the job that added to my skills. But I am looking forward to my new adventure, discovering new territory, making new friends. I won't miss the skunks though..both human and the regular basic striped ones.

Gilly has finally clued in to the changes, there was a fair amount of feline howling done tonight because his ratty old cat tower is not coming with us. I hope to find his highness another one that is not shredded. I'm sure that getting back to being outside some of the time will solve some of that, though Dad might start to wonder about his trees with claw marks on them. I have a sedative for the drive, though I would rather not have to use it. He'll be in the bathroom when the movers arrive, but I can remember him freaking out in there when we moved in here.(wedged between the vanity and the tub, turning himself upside down and panicking.

Not sure that I will be able to post here again once the move starts. My next entry will likely be in Colorado.

~K

If you know who is watching

If you know who is watching I'd suppose that he would be doing a jig..celebrating my departure. Good, happy for you. After all the blog entries I've written for you I guess that I have said it all before. I'm ready to move on and escape the last influence of your presence. I've enjoyed most of the time that I have spent in West Virginia, most of it. I made some awesome friends and found fulfillment in my work. I surprised myself by hanging in there and surviving your betrayal.
I can honestly say that I am leaps and bounds past where I was when you dumped me.

I am looking forward to exploring a new place instead of dwelling in the stomping grounds of your past. I hope that life brings you what you deserve, be it good or bad. (sort of ambivalent of that topic.)
I know that Karma has visited you and that you recovered. Good for you. The hate was one sided Sir. I struggled to make 'us' work for years. I don't believe that I failed, I do believe you bailed. Whatever,.. it is what it was. For whatever reason you chose to do what you did..I forgive you, because I AM stronger without you.  Trying to please you was slowly killing me, as there was no way I could please you, try as I did.

May you live..may you truly know yourself. And I hope that at sometime in your life you drop the bullshit and find honesty. Your Father was a good man. If you aim to emulate you better get stepping. He did not play games, and I liked that about him.

K

9 days

9 days left till my last day at work. They are looking at a lapse of Dual Rates after I am gone on swing. I feel for them, I feel badly that they will be so short. But it has happened before and they have survived. There would have been one left, but he, unfortunately, was demoted last Thursday due to his own actions, or lack of. I think if he had been a trifle more mature this would not have happened. But sadly he was not. It's going to be rough for them to get through this. They have known that I was leaving in July even though I officially gave my months notice in August.

Most of all I feel sorry for my team. I wish things were different for them as I hate leaving and knowing that they will have a hard road until staffing is fulfilled. I hope that they all know that this was not my intention, life just happened to make if more difficult. If I stayed until things got better I'd never be leaving, as there is always some issue or staffing problem there. Best wishes to all of my colleagues, I only want the best for you all.

K

Getting There

Between work and packing I have been a busy girl. Not only has the year flown by, but especially this last chapter in West Virginia. In three more weeks I will bid farewell to my current job at the casino, and Hello! to what the future holds for me. I have received quite a few responses to my resume, though nothing has tripped my trigger yet. I know that there is a possible temp job lined up, but these days I need full time to get health insurance. I should be ok for a few months though.

I'm looking forward to learning a new city and state. Lots to explore out there in Colorado. Though many have said "what about the weather?" My reply is to wait 24 hours, it will change again. Likely no more snowy then we had last year here in the east.

Packing..Lord..spare me...not my favorite thing. Unpacking..different story..it feels like Christmas opening a box and finding an old memory waiting to be placed in it's new home. Even though I have gotten a lot done, there is much more to do. The kitchen and storage will be my biggest battles..that and running out of space for the boxes in this little place.

So the clock is ticking..and seems to be moving faster than normal. I will have at least 5 days after my last day at work to finish things off. I am hoping that only the vacuum will be needed on the last day and that I can blast off for the first leg of my adventure. My co-pilot? A sedated cat..he is way too high strung to face the journey without drugs. It will be a huge transition for him..car trip for 4-5 days and then dogs to deal with in the new home. I can only hope and wait to see him accepting instead of perpetually freaking out because of the canines. The cat (Sam) I know that Gilly can adjust to after a few days. Dogs..he has never dealt with ever before.

~K

I know how ..Robin Williams felt

Robin Williams...we shared a common last name..and much more. I am not lying when I say that I can relate to and understand where he was when he made his final decision. It is a very dark place...where hope is not to be found. If not for the grace of God, a dear friend, and my Father, I might have met his fate long before he reached his.

Nobody can really know the depths that Depression can take you. Everything closes in and there is no light to lead you back. I confess to not having the same drug abuse problems but I can attest that Depression is very real.

There seems to be little hope. You feel that all efforts are for naught. The tears and the pain suck you in to an abyss that has no bottom,  constantly falling. Darkness..fear...self doubt..twist you into a lost knot.

I confess that I had saviors. A kindly psychologist with a Howdy Doody smile; an ambulance crew who did everything they could and succeeded..an ICU that kept me alive...a friend that stood steadfast at my side, always there when I needed her, and a parent who forgave and gave of himself to keep me on the right path.
Without these people I would not be here today.

I will never be able to say how much everyone of them meant to me. For the most part I have no connection to thank them. Those that are still close today know their value in the part they paid in my recovery and survival., and they continue to be closest to my heart.

My deepest regret for Robin is that he did not reach out for help. There is always someone who can give you a good reason to keep breathing. Sometimes it's a total stranger, sometimes it is someone you hold dear. But they cannot hear if you do not ask.

He was a true human. He gave from his heart. His caring and empathy showed in everything he did. The world will be less without him, but I am very grateful for what he did share with us. I hope that his final adventure (death) leads him to a paradise where there is no more pain..just love and laughter.

~k