Hope and blueberry pie

"Hope springs eternal in the human breast"

Alexander Pope

Hope has carried me through some of worst couple months of my life so far, and I believe will be toting me along for years to come. I know I face challenges right now that I have never before had to deal with, and definitely not alone. I keep my chin up that my career, my finances, my love life, and my living alone will all work out somehow. Some of that will be due to hard work, and the rest is up to fate. I know that I am good people, I have not done anything to anyone that I regret doing. My assertiveness is returning, but eh..my confidence in me is taking it's time. That is understandable under the circumstances in which my life changed, it's hard to be positive about yourself when someone's actions toward you were so incredibly negative. This did not do much to make my self confidence grow, but with time, I "Hope" to get that back as well.

Maybe I am still that 16 year old who only cursed in a weird " God Bless Blueberry muffins!" mutter. My love of musicals and theater started when I was in my teens. Having watched " South Pacific" live, and listened to it many times on an old vinyl record, might have helped me to become Nellie-Kelly. At 16 I was naive, and I did not drink, smoke, have sex, or really use swear words. Yes, I have my moments of swearing now, a lot of time has passed. But I still feel as Corny as Kansas in August, and normal as blueberry pie quite often.

There is not much that sets me apart from a lot of other women in my age group, except perhaps my limited serious love life, only 2 men have held my heart in their care. Maybe because I never really did the dating scene during my teen years or later, it stunted my self confidence when it came to how I view my appeal, my take on feeling attractive. That awkward teenager who was too curvy at a time when curves were not in, made me very self conscious, add glasses and braces and Voila! Goober girl! I am not sure if any more time will really help change my view of myself at this point in my life. As with most folks there are parts of me that I appreciate, and parts I wish I could change

But ya know what? I still have hope. Maybe my "Some Enchanted Evening" is ahead of me, waiting to happen. A Handsome, sexy French man could secretly be waiting on a South Pacific island just for me...lol!

Hugs,

k