7/11/11
As of last night, the over time has become Mandatory for all Grave workers indefinitely. So Not Digging it. I don't mind if it is My idea, but the way it was presented was extremely poor, and set off my temper enough to burn for hours. I know I need the money, but I have never seen a dramatic increase on my checks in over one and half years from the O.T. It barely seems to make a difference. I am sorry to be grouchy this morning, seriously. If it had been stated any other way I likely would not have reacted with anger. But I already feel like work is the only life I have right now, and it is not enough.
People need a balance so when they do work it is with a lighter heart. Whether it is time with friends, or doing something that makes you smile, it has to be there. I keep reaching to grab the positive, and have been since I stopped crying over the butt-head. But four walls and a trip back and forth to work don't add up to a full life. That and trying to fix insurmountable financial woes with a grin on my face, it's really hard to do. I pray daily for a miracle, even a small one, so I can feel like I am making a difference of some sort.
Sigh...perhaps I am just over tired right now. I will sleep on it, work and find unconsciousness again the same time tomorrow. Or I can hope that time will have unraveled, and I will wake up and be 19 again with life blooming in front of me. Hell, I know I could have worked 14 days straight at the age, because I did. But I also had a life at home, family and friends to share it with. And..the path I would chose would be quite different. Stay in college, get that degree, and be able to support myself without today's problems.
Maybe I would be a great deal wiser at love as well, waiting for the right one, and so not wasting 9 years of my life living on hope that someone would grow up and appreciate what they had, and not keep on looking. Two faced, one mouth saying " I love you baby," and the other saying" hey! I'm single and looking..no I am not with someone." And I guess he never really was with me..just killing time, making his moves..Don Ron, the eternal Lothario. ( with a line for every time...full of bologna...constantly trying to re-invent himself by sleeping with someone new.) I sort of loved him without all the falseness and causes of the moment. It was not his causes I fell for.
My next life? I will be smarter, if only to protect myself and my happiness.
I'm rambling so...off I go
Yawning,
k
6 comments:
Well written for someone that is tired!
Love, Mel
Not 14, though as tired as I feel it might as well be. Hugs n thanks.I was just speaking of how it was easier then..youth is wasted on the young
Could use some of that energy now.
Youth is indeed wasted on the young. To be able to go back, and make wiser decisions would be nice. But, it might also change some great things that happened along the way.
Love you! Mel
I feel that if fate means for people to meet, then it will happen. What we do with it depends on who we are at that time. I would have dated and not married #1, and I would never have moved in with #2, dating only. It would have been the wiser thing to do. As for my friends? They would still be there. I don't think I would miss anything great if I had a second chance.
You know my theory..if you change 1 thing, you change everything. Without the 1st hubby, there would not be the boys (no comments needed! lol) and no grandkids.....
I believe everything happens for a reason. Doesn't mean we have to like the reason.
I do understand what you are saying. I just don't agree with it. But, that is the great things about us as friends....we don't "yes" each other on all subjects! We agree to disagree..and we both get to be right some of the time!
Love, Mel
Hear Hear!
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